Dear Diary: That Fateful Day Of The Year '97

I stopped going to College abruptly because of my brewing medical condition as I couldn't cope anymore with the physical stresses of schooling that also affected my grades so I said to myself I will just stop for now and return when all is well again.

But it didn't go well and it became worse until we went to the Kidney Institute in Manila because of my insistence that I must see a doctor that is specialized in dealing with my condition. So after being treated with antibiotics for my recurring fever/infection by my Urologist we asked him to refer us to Manila, to the head of transplant surgery.

And so we did go to pursue for my treatment then we were asked to get some tests including a biopsy which totaled in the amount that we could not pay so we were referred to the hospital's charity section that gave us discounts for the tests.

We managed to get it all through but something in the test rocked me from my foundations, I was tested positive for Hepatitis B. Upon seeing the result I got worried because no treatment I know that can cure it and I also thought that I could never go abroad now to get a job and be normal.

But it turned out that getting a job abroad in the future will be the least of my worries until the doctor told us that I have hepatitis B and that it was in their protocol not to treat me. He also saw the Biopsy tests which revealed that my kidney disease will recur even though I get the transplant.

Those sandwiches of bad news got shoved into my ear in that fateful day of March '97 which is my birthday. A damn I got sad that day, who wouldn't. We went home and I was crying after going home because I already knew the implications especially after seeing the dialysis patients with arms ugly as it was riddled with puncture scars from getting dialysis not to mention their appearances of pallored skin like zombies because they are sick-looking and pale.

It went into me that I would be like these people and indeed it came into reality and much worse now because of the serious of unfortunate medical issues the sprung-up from being a dialysis patient.

All I can do now is just to suck it all up and be brave and rely on the mercy of God and ,y fellow human beings because I just need all the help that I can get because of the pain involved and other ugly things that is making my life miserable day and night, unceasingly.