I don't understand what you mean either @agiftoflove. I've pondered for several hours. The only positive thing that comes up (i tend to focus on the light within and not explore the possible dark sides) is that you would prefer not to link so as to try to keep Steemians within the Steem platform. So please enlighten me. Happy to do it in on discord or steem.chat if you prefer, although i think here would be best, but up to you.
It really doesn't matter what it is. Past is past. Really there is only light. Shining the light of Satyam, here and now, heals all (in time - out of time there is no-thing to heal).
With love
Atma