Neighborhood News (1/19/2020)

Hello Neighbors,

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Starting off with fantastic news!

We found the Sun. It appears there were clouds in front of it. Clearly our weather is being modified by Outside Forces to cause panic amongst our Perfect Community. The Neighborhood engineers had already been busy building a replacement Sun, so to avoid further Outside interference they’ve been requisitioned with the full authority of the Home Owners’ Association to continue work on the second Sun.

I hear from Chief Engineer Wentworth that this New Sun will not only be brighter, but hotter and bigger than our old, dilapidated Sun.

In other news:

The entire week has been declared Adult Swim. Adults must be in The Neighborhood pool at all times. Catheters (as supplies last) will be administered by Neighborhood nursing staff as you arrive. It’s first come first serve for pool positioning, so come early!

Please turn over custody of your children to the Neighborhood Watch Association for the time being, lest our Perfect Utopian Community quickly devolve into a horrible amalgam of Lord of the Flies and Children of the Corn, like last time.

Additionally, on every one of your doors, @wwwiebe has posted pictures of the inside of his jester cave (“The Wiebehaus”), and it’s full of lazy animals doing lazy things. He has earned his keep as Neighborhood Jester this week for making us all chuckle: https://beta.steemit.com/hive-154988/@wwwiebe/sunday-at-wiebehaus-shit-post-sunday

If this has not made you chuckle, please report to your cul-de-sac chairman to be assigned a new laughter module upgrade at Marty the Biomechanic’s shop “Marty the Biomechanic’s shop” on Maple Avenue.

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(Looking to move into The Hood? We have vacancy! All are welcome! Become One of Us here: https://beta.steemit.com/created/hive-154988 Be Our Neighbor.)