Neighborhood News (1/4/2020)

Hello Neighbor,

Prepare yourself; it's time for the Neighborhood news. You are prepared, aren't you? It would be a shame if you weren't prepared for the Neighborhood news. If you have a Neighbor whom you believe is not prepared for the news, you are permitted to politely remind them to be prepared for the Neighborhood news.

On to the matters at hand:

1. The raccoon invasion of the tennis courts has been crushed under the iron fist of the Neighborhood Watch Association and the many, many conscripts who gave their lives for their Neighborhood, rushing into a hail of machine gun bullets to allow the unscathed NWA tanks to roll over the trash can fortress.
   These brave men, women, children, and pets lost their lives for You to play tennis, so be respectful and make sure to stretch before your next scrimmage match. Complaining of torn ACLs due to inadequate warmup is disrespectful to the brave sacrifices made for control of the tennis court.

2. Speaking of torn ACLs, @drlobes has been appointed Neighborhood Doctor, as he is a doctor. Dr Lobes received his Bachelor's Degree of Medicine from the prestigious online college Udemy. May his many, many lobes serve Us well in both the treatment of our injuries and the continual improvement of our imperfect bodies through medical intervention. I don't know much about these things, so I'll just leave it up to our doctor to fix us.

3. The tube slide at the Community Playground has been fixed. It will now correctly deposit your children back into our own dimension as intended.

In other news, there's a pothole on Pine Lane. All Neighbors will be required to give alms to the Home Owners' Association to have this issue rectified.

Drive safely, and remember Our Community motto:

Eyes avert? You're not alert.
Eyes honed? You're getting home, and won't have to participate in driver's ed again.

That is all.

(Looking to move into The Hood? All are welcome! Become one of Us here: https://beta.steemit.com/created/hive-154988 Be Our Neighbor.)