"I'll rest easy knowing you cool cats had it all covered well ahead of time."
From: TD Canada Trust
Subject: Please Accept Our Apologies
To: James Deagle
Received: Tuesday, May 31, 2011, 6:57 AMDear Customer,
Our Technical Service department has recently updated our online banking software, and due to this upgrade we kindly >ask you to follow the link given below to confirm your online account details. Failure to confirm the online banking >details will suspend you from accessing your account online.
https://easywebsoc.td.com/waw/idp/login.htm?execution=e1s1
We use the latest security measures to ensure that your online banking experience is safe and secure. The >administration asks you to accept our apologies for the incontinence caused and expresses gratitude for cooperation.
Regards,
TD Canada Trust Technical Support
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Please do not reply to this email address as it is not monitored and we will be unable to respond.
Dear TD Canada Trust Technical Support,
Thank you for your concern for my TD Canada Trust account. The fact that I don't have one (yet) speaks volumes about your proactive dedication. If I open such an account in the future, I'll rest easy knowing you cool cats had it all covered well ahead of time.
From reading the second paragraph of your email, let me tell you I have experienced no problems with bowel movements, so there is absolutely no need to offer apologies "for the incontinence caused". Just so there's no confusion, I have suffered no involuntary excretion or leaking. My poo is fine. For now.
On that note, please let me know who at TD Canada Trust I can contact should this situation change. (Perhaps there's an option for irregularity on your Easy Web site, or on your automated phone system? If so, then kudos. That's what I call "one-stop banking".)
In any case, thank you for the concern and vigilance on behalf of your customers, as well as for your contribution to public health and wellbeing.
Sincerely,
James Deagle