anger mainly occurs when our expectations are not met.
Totally agree😉 my mother always nagging at her children whenever she gets angry because we didn't listen to her words or command. So when I feel that I'm angry.. I'd nagged and spanking at anything that made me so😅 until I realised that it would drained my energy.
So whenever I get angry about anything, I hold it and then find a note book and write it down, anything that make me angry and analyse the situation on how to ho handle that. The highest state of angryness that I showed to others by ignoring and keep in silent mode for 3 days 😂
A notebook - what a great idea!
I also am silent when I am angry. I need time to think and calm down. Speaking when angry has never made a situation better for me!
For a short while I worked as a substitute teacher at a grade school. I learned that if a child acted defiant it pushed my buttons and I'd get immediately angry. Hmm, could it be that was a reflection of me? That I am the president of the "You Can't Make Me" club? So it was okay for me to be that way but not anyone else? I learned a lot from that job!
I am a moody person, stupid accident can easily raise my anger, but lucky me I am surrounded by nice and full of understanding people 😂 they said .. don't do anything stupid unless you want to get scold and spanked by cici😂 they learnt that when I expressed my anger through harsh words is better than I ignore them.
And I think teaching is a good experience on controlling emotion too. I mentoring some new announcers when I was working at the radio station, a perfect timing and right words to say were the most important things while broadcasting a program, the newbies sometimes got nervous just seeing my expression (I stared with almost pop out eyes😂).
I still couldn't manage my loud voice when I face the naughty children but trying so hard to tell myself... I was like them too and why would I mad at children?
Silent but mad is more dangerous than spanking in my opinion but, controlling the anger is easier than fixing a broken heart because of the harsh words driven by emotional tenses.
Why would you be mad at children? =-o
I suppose feeling compassion for their stupid acts would be better, but I have met children who need more than a stink-eye to correct their behavior! But I also agree There is a saying, "Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me." I never understood that because words can hurt very much and that pain can last longer than a broken bone.
So we do the best we can and try to learn as we go!
✋ high five, I must learn a lot from now on to control the anger😊 I have 12 nieces and nephew and more than 30 grandchildren from my hubby side😅 I don't want they call me "granny witch" behind my back 😂
Thank you so much @donna-metcalfe, stink eyes 😬 that's how I look like😂
That's sure a lot of children to practice on!
I don't have children or even many children around me. Most of what I know comes from having been a child! And observing parents with their children. So I'm not full of advice there. But I know a lot about anger and learning to control it has taken a lifetime! For me what works is noticing the anger building and taking that as a sign to stop and step back. Is this worth being angry over? Is there a different way to react than stabbing that person? ;-)
I had a little therapy about anger and one idea I liked was to go to a quiet place (my bedroom) and yell and pound on the bed or a pillow and let it out. A safe place to release tension. Maybe spend a few minutes feeling sorry for myself. Then get up and get on with the day!
A good stink eye is a skill worth having!