Don't live too close, or look at the nobleman or the king, he might steal your wife and chop off your head.

Look up when walking in the streets, or you might get a bucket of human excrement in your face from some idiot on the 3rd floor.

Be in a patient, happy mood when working with, or walking the streets behind animals, or you might get a hoof to the head. (You missed your alarm (the rooster) this morning, so a hoof'll do the job good.)

Don't carry more than 1 piece of gold or silver per pocket, as there are highwaymen, pirates, and ruffians everywhere. Hide the rest in the middle of the forest, (if you're the 1% who has more than like, 5 pieces.)

Ignore the doctor who tells you to frequently wash your hands, he's probably a warlock, devil worshipper. (I often see him up late reading books, and that one time carrying a big package...)

Don't write any of this down, 'cause you'll get killed under some ridiculous pretext. (Oh, and you can't read and write anyways...)

Resteemed for the sake of hope and peace, and human ingenuity!