'Jawlock' KILL THE PAD" CHALLENGE WEEK #13 - Omega Rift
This weeks topic is: Eye Contact
Write about two people seeing each other for the first time
Jawlock by Omega Rift
~
At first glance I was tongue twisted, conflicted
figured i should say something but thought was quite dismissive, ah forget it
Blue puddles of crystalline galaxies,
The flutter of the flock within my stomach,
how to speak? when in awe?
Awkward crickets chirp inside my cranium
calling courage from inside the lions den,
I halt,
Why do her lips stay locked as well?
At first sight, I tremored in speculation, hesitation
conflicted, tongue twisted per say,
are there words in which can properly be relayed?
Brown murky pools of confidence,
hatch the cocoons within my stomachs pit,
fragmented sentences and damp palms
run on within this state of bliss
how to speak, when in awe?
original post - https://steemit.com/killthepad/@jamesgetsit/5mc2sq-kill-the-pad-challenge-week-13-sponsored-by-sma-dsound-community-initiative
original image - http://maisindaia.com.br/saude/tag/primavera/![cor-dos-olhos.jpg]
~
https://soundcloud.com/omegarift
https://instagram.com/omegarift
This post has been voted on from MSP3K courtesy of @djlethalskillz from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ).
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This was cool dude... The scheme was really interesting and seemed a bit all over the place, but could tell it wasn't random. Great imagery, great use of words. Only critique I'd give is that I'd like to see more use of rhyme. I can see where there are some multis in some bars, but then at time the end rhymes just didn't land together... Could be that the bar just ran into the next bar without much of a pause, but even then, for the reader it should be shown a bit more.
Appreciate you droppin the piece! Keep em coming!