As a blogger, I've searched the internet for communities and people to connect with.

Additionally, I wrote in the self-help space while I learnt how to make an income online.

I've immersed myself in several communities before and I must say that looks are extremely deceiving.

A lot of communities out there are mere circle jerks.

Oh pardon me. Here's the definition for those in the dark:

"When a bunch of blowhards - usually politicians - get together for a debate but usually end up agreeing with each other's viewpoints to the point of redundancy, stroking each other's egos as if they were extensions of their genitals (ergo, the mastubatory insinuation). Basically, it's what happens when the choir preaches to itself."

- Urban Dictionary

It can be pretty toxic honestly, especially to newbies who don't know any better.

And the circle expands far and wide, thus entrapping more and more people in it.

We need to stop this shit.

Here's my take on what to look out for. Hope it helps.

In a Circle Jerk:

• Only the top guys make money, if not most of it while new people who enter the circle have next to zero chance of making any.
• The top guys meet up all the time just to talk about how much money they make or what is currently profitable in the market.
• Their idea of helping people and spreading positivity is to get together to talk about it.
• And then think up ways to sell newbies some expensive bullshit.
• Expensive bullshit is ONLY always about how to make money (usually online), how to create a business or some bullshitty overnight cure.
• There is always some kind of hidden cost.
• They'll try to allow access to newbies inside their personal circle by upselling to them and giving it some cliched and deluding name like, "Super Secret Mastermind Group" or "Gold Inner Circle."
• Topics on self-improvement are usually about spamming motivational quotes and pretty pictures only while completely ignoring the fact that a person's problem may need specialized or professional attention.
• They'll ignore the idea that not spending on their bullshit products is actually a better choice. For example, they'd willingly tell you shit like, "Spend that last $1000 you have for rent on my products instead and you'll make back 10x of it! Come on! Don't you want to achieve your dream?! This is your only chance!"
• They don't even use their own products.
• Because they'd rather use sales tactics.
• Some of them will take it to social media when their ego gets bruised, so you can expect a lot of bitching, screenshots of conversations and long rants of why they're right and the other party is wrong.
• To them, there is no such thing as giving. Everything is for sale. 
• Even if something is given, it is a means to an end only i.e. there is an upsell and of course, they want to show off how generous they are, hence pulling in more unwitting newbies.
• Focal point of content is about getting results as fast as possible so you can look good with vanity numbers, like a large following on Instagram or Steemit.
• When they mention hard work and diligence, it's just so they can use it against you, like, "Oh you didn't make money with your launch? That means you didn't work hard enough. Sorry. Maybe if you join my inner circle you can learn more."
• The top guys are secretly weak ass bitches. Don't play at their game. Call them out on what truly makes a person valuable. Identify all ambiguous loopholes. Question them. Talk about anything besides money, fame or business. Confront them even. Watch them crumble. 

In a Community:

• Everyone is willing to help each other.
• Everyone provides valuable content.
• Prices are not ridiculously expensive.
• The top guys get out of their way to help the little ones. This may seem unreal to you if you feel new, but trust me, such generous people do exist.
• Bitching, trolling, hating and posting of damning screenshots will be frowned upon and probably prohibited.
• Everyone is mature and will give advice for the greater good. No one is there to take sides or feed each others' ego.
• The top guys will willingly tell you not to buy their products if they know the cost alone may outweigh potential benefits.
• There is no hidden, secret community within that people can pay to get in.
• If a top guy turns out to be a toxic asshole, he or she will be kicked out. Justification of being rich or famous will not be concerned. 
• When someone is gifted with something, that is it. It's a gift. End of story. No hidden costs or upsells. Zero ambiguity and everyone is happy.
• The top guys will be transparent with everything they do.
• Focal point of content is about honesty, giving, authenticity and hard work through consistency and diligence to draw in people who believe in the same.
• The top guys will not promise you results and that they can't guarantee them. They also acknowledge that luck plays a role. They will further encourage you to try again. 
• The top guys can be your good friends for life.

See the difference?