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This is not my grandmother who passed away last week. I haven't been given any pictures of the funeral, nor was I notified if it even happened yet.

Welcome to My World

I live in a world where very little makes sense. There is more hate than love, and that has been the theme of so called "family" my whole life. Talking behind someone's back, back stabbing, only hoping for the worst for family, no support, spreading hate, being negative. This is what I grew up with, so i don't know why I think that at the age of 34 that anything would change over those years. It all stays the same.

So, death was experienced once again within my family. It was a grandmother in law. She was old, and it was bound to happen, no surprise. But she was always there for me and treated me like her own granddaughter as i grew up. One of my own grandmothers had already died far before my birth, and the other didn't like me for God only knows the reasons. This grandmother in law would babysit me from time to time, and treat me somewhat like the others. Not exactly of course, I wasn't hers. It's not like she recognized me for any holidays or anything, but she was there for the lowest amount of support that someone could offer.

My conversation with my mother about the death of my grandmother in law.

Mom: Did Jackie or Hollie call you to let you know that Lois died?

Me: No

Mom: She dies at 5 am this morning. They are already fighting over money.

Me: That is sad, and how disgusting

Mom: Yes

Me: Well I guess they didn't tell me because they were too busy fighting over who gets the trailer on Bayshore

Mom: That's where Jackie and Steven live.

Me: Oh Great, another dead family members house is gonna get foreclosed on. I don't know where all their money goes.

Side note: In 2014 my grandmother that didn't like me, the mother of Jackie and my mom, passed away. My mom became the executor of the "estate", a trailer in the middle of nowhere. My Aunt Jackie was super upset she wasn't named the executor because she is the oldest. She wanted the trailer, and decided to move to Alabama and take it over. My mom was more than happy to give it to her. The cost of property taxes and upkeep wasn't worth keeping. She signed over the trailer to my Aunt Jackie. My Aunt Jackie and Uncle Steven had to move anyway because their house was foreclosed on for not paying their mortgage. She moved in and didn't make any of the payments due. She had a full time job as a nurse, and Uncle Steven is on disability, a constant check every month. I was upset to find out the home was foreclosed on, when they were given a house for free. They decided to move back to the town they left, and moved in with Grandma Lois.

Another side note: When I was 21 or 22 I moved into an apartment, with their daughter, Hollie, my cousin as a roommate. I could not afford the apartment on my own. My cousin made the first month payment, but then didn't have the money for the second month. I had learned she either quit of got fired, didn't tell me, and was going to her boyfriend's house every day. I was so angry, and also at risk of losing my housing. I remember my Aunt Jackie telling me that I was a shitty person for being mad at Hollie. Family can't expect family to pay the bills, and can't get mad when they don't. No one seemed to be worried about me and what I was going to do for housing. She had shacked up with her boyfriend, and I got stuck getting two jobs while I was in college for a few months before I found a reliable roommate.

Mom: So true, if Michael and Suzie don't kick them out. Michael is in charge of the estate

Me: If they dont pay rent? Like seriously, what are they buying that they cannot pay rent at all? I know he gets disability. I assume she has a job. I mean, Michael does seem like the responsible one.

Mom: Yes she has a job. Michael is on disability too but Suzie works. Keith and Beth haven't worked in 6 years. They are all a bunch of deadbeats.

I don't know how I turned out the way I did. For the past decade I have been a social worker. it is important to me to give back to my community. I give my time to others so they can do better. I haven't had a Christmas or Thanksgiving off in 10 years. I had to work while I was at my grandmother's funeral in 2014. I did it all with a smile, and actually happy that I was a cog in the machine of helping others. I could not imagine in a million years depending on someone else to just take care of me when I have the ability to take care of myself. I could never just take advantage.

I feel like I am not even able to properly mourn this woman that passed because of all the ridiculousness that surrounds her. I have heard horror stories of others that experience this same type of stuff within their own families. I am from the South, so I am not sure if it is a southern thing or not. It makes me want to leave whatever few dollars I have to my name when I die to a charity! And I hate thinking like that, it truly breaks my heart.

Do you have similar horror stories in your family? Or am I alone out here?

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