Sober Magic

It keeps me going though its driving me nuts, walking through cold and living with cuts. I'm always tired, I'm kinda down, I'm drenched by the tears of a clown in the midst of the storm.
There's those dreary moments when I feel really down, like a weight was placed on me and the skyline looks bleak because the stars won't shine. Those moments I feel weird like the feelings are ganging up on me and tomorrow is a journey of a thousand years. In those moment, I feel grief and apprehended by the pain from the unknown I'm thinking about the things I should have said, those moments I let pass me by seamlessly. The compounded lostness of being in a crowded place but feel alone but laughing and clowning along to the shenanigans.
I'm thinking about the love that turned sour and how it filled me up but never satisfied me. I remember the smile touched me but could never pierce the skin. The shallow pool of negligence we kept our feeling in and it all makes sense.

It all makes sense now, we were never right from the start and the drugs we took kept us from seeing this sad truth. The scales fell from our eyes when the high quenched and the night ended. The pain felt realer and reality struck me, I never loved but I was drunk in love. Its Sober Magic