Neighbors Gone Wild

Neighbors Gone Wild

Carmen and I have horrible luck with neighbors. This is a known fact among our circle of friends. Let's start with the Thomas family. They stole anything that was left outside while we were away at work. When we had the yard surveyed to build a fence, Carl Jr. pulled the stakes out of the ground and threw them into the yard. Then, there was the time young Donovan repeatedly banged his head against the fence. He got expelled the next week at the ripe age of six for threatening his principal and punching a teacher. The police frequently knocked on our door, searching for Carl Sr. When he passed away, the family moved to Richlands. We had talked to uncle Fester about buying the property to avoid another set of hooligans, but later found out they sold it to a man from New York who was in jail for $5,000. The property is still sitting empty.

On the other side of our old home, there is an old church that was converted into apartments. There was a man named Gary who lived in the basement apartment. Gary had a head injury. During their first meeting, he asked Carmen if he could take a shower with her. He could often be found pilfering through neighborhood vehicles. He harrassed any worker who came to do work on our house. He often tried to follow us into our house. We were thrilled when he moved in with his brother down the street.

On the upper level there were two apartments. The front apartment was occupied by a woman named April. Her story is actually quite sad. She lived alone with her two dogs. She often sat on her porch and always greeted us when we came home. She was always very nice. I came home one afternoon to neighbors trying to see into her apartment. No one had seen April for a few days. The police came later. They were finally able to see into one of her windows after placing a tall ladder against the wall. She was on the couch unresponsive. They sent me to the door first to catch the dogs. I am not sure why they thought I should enter a possible crime scene first. Turns out, April overdosed and had been dead for some time. None of her family members came forward, so the county assumed responsibility for her body and had her buried.

Last year, Carmen and I moved to a new home. We have a bigger yard and more room. It's wonderful! Unfortunately, we still have a dud neighbor. Don't get me wrong, he is no Gary or Thomas family.

Meet Daniel, our newest neighbor.

Daniel has a criminal record. He isn't allowed to drive, so he stays at home and tinkers with cars all day. I'm not quite sure where he acquires these vehicles, but there are several. He has been working on the suburban for quite some time now. I'm not really sure what he is doing. I'm no car expert, but pressure washing a vehicle with the front end mangled and the doors open doesn't really seem like a productive use of time.

Daniel has a pit bull. The pit bull used to get out on a regular basis. As a favor to Daniel, Carmen would leash the dog and take him home. There are dogs that run around the neighborhood because we don't believe in following animal laws here in Tazewell County. We didn't want Zeus to kill an animal and get taken away and probably euthanized. On the third return to his home, Zeus bit Carmen. Carmen went to let Daniel know. He basically accused us of letting Zeus out and getting bitten on purpose. We were also told that we couldn't give Zeus treats because if we did, he “owned us.” Zeus barks all the time. He is chained and fenced. However, we have a daily noise battle with Daniel. If our dogs bark, he plays Eminem at full blast in the suburban. You see, he installed a system in the suburban. I don't know if it still works after the bath yesterday. I'm sure there will be more stories to come. We don't plan on leaving any time soon and based on the number of broken down vehicles he has parked in front of his house, I don't think he has any plans either.