Well, @meesterboom, this is one of your stories that made me laugh more, as we would say around here in Venezuela: "Me caguè de la risa!" (something like:
I shit with laughter!) ... is there something true in this story? Did it really happen to you? ... and the phrase: "I have got a turtle's head poking out"

Here is the little head of the turtle! ... That phrase was masterly.

There is no one in the world who has not gone through this situation, so we understand and fully justify you; and seeing the positive side: you left food to the little animals of the forest and contributed with your fertilizer to strengthen the nutrients of the earth. Good job meesterboom!.

Greetings