I think that your words made me realize, that now it's not the time to make excuses and I really have to start doing sth to change my life around in the way I want. I will save your post just to encourage myself that I can do it. The part about surrounding myself with people who will encourage me I can say I managed to do it already. But everything else I have to put in my head. Old habbits are really hard to give up, but I'll try to do my best to accieve my goals. Thank you for all your words. Really loved reading them!