RE: The Love that illuminated my Heart
Oh, honey... I am celebrating my oldest brother's birthday today. He took his life two years ago. I do not have that circle of love with my siblings, most of them do not speak to me. I grieve knowing I will never see him alive again, compounded with the grief of knowing that my living siblings did not find his suicide to be any motivation to let me back into their hearts and lives.
I nearly died from the suicidal effects of antidepressants and tried to warn my siblings, who all but one are on them. That is why they cut ties with me. I spoke badly about their favorite drug. My oldest brother made peace with me but did not heed my warnings and he took his life while he was on those "happy pills." I really thought for a moment that maybe my other siblings would at least stop hating me at that point, but no. So it goes.
Much love to you, thanks for being a steemitsister to me, maybe you have some idea how much that really matters to me now.
I am truly sad for your siblings, for they are missing one of the best things in life. Sharing oneself with one that you grew up with, who knows you almost better than you know yourself, who can understand some of the quirks in life that you are going through and just sharing other relatives together has to count for something.
I am so sorry about your older brother, made sadder by the fact that he reconciled and you lost him anyway. But yes, I am saddened by the fact that your sibs didn't use this to motivate a reconciliation among all of you. Consider the fact that they are not themselves anyway, immersed in their own "happy world" and perhaps not really feeling the effects of losing out.
Someday they will. Life is too short to live with regrets. I am sad for you, but, more for them. They have no idea what they are missing by turning their back on you.
Much love to you and thank you. Even though I am surrounded by my family, I needed to write this out and see it in writing. As silly as it sounds, it makes it more real, here. Looking at it. Word for word.
((She sighs)) Hugs and love, my friend. And thank you. 💓
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