And So Ends The Day Of Zero Platitudes
There's No Banality In This Missive!
So, as I snapped this picture of the regrowth of my indoor salad garden's spinach today, a thought struck me rather suddenly. In fact, the force of the insight hit almost as hard as my corgi hit my left ankle. Ground Corg Zero has a bit of a bruise, but my mind moment just left me with some thoughts that I have decided to share with you all.
This week has been so incredibly full of displayed animosity of some sort between most of the humans that I have come in contact with. From break ups, to self-pity parties and rude treatment to loved one's, the list of foul people emotional behavior that I have experienced this week is huge, and it was as I beheld the regrowth of my spinach plants that something dawned on me. I mowed the spinach off without mercy. All of the plants were cut back so that we could have fresh salad fodder this past week. You know what though, that spinach just got on with living. When life mowed that spinach to the ground, it just got busy growing back.
This insight dawned on me after I sent a heartfelt response to a dear friend who was airing her woes on Facebook. I never engage in potentially explosive personal dialogue on social networks, it's just not my thing, but I was so moved by my friend's obvious misery that I felt compelled to say something. You see, I spent a good chunk of my life not living for various reasons, and I hate to see that behavior in other people's lives. My main point to my friend is that most of our misery (not all mind you) in our lives is caused by our inability to see or acknowledge what is broken in us. I sabotaged my life by failing to live it due to excuses I was making for a long, long time. You have to identify the broken bits and repair them before you can work correctly.
Now, I am not saying things will always be rosy when you overcome the attitudes in your form which are holding you back from greatness, not at all. There will always be negative things that happen to you in life, but if you can reorganize your perception into an attitude of encouragement and jettison any mental baggage, especially traits that cause you to mutter excuses, I believe you will be equipped to sail through life and get to where you are going. It just might not be on the path you expect.
Today, I did something old school Kat would never have done. I stood up to a loved one, in the moment, who uttered something that made me feel inferior. Throughout my entire life, whenever someone behaved badly toward me, I would just bury that hurt because of some excuse usually revolving around not wanting to make that person upset. This type of behavior made me physically ill for a good chunk of my life and miserable for most of it. I cannot describe to you how amazing it is to call someone out on their behavior without fear of reaction. I am not in control of that person's attitudes or reactions. No more doormat Kat!
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I have spent countless, precious hours of my life enabling people by listening to them rant endlessly and offering up meaningless, patronizing platitudes. I let people use me as an emotional soundboard in a way that was harmful to my body and soul. It was wrong. However, it wasn't time wasted because I have learned something from it. I will always be a person who people will want to spill their souls too. I mean the other day my Walmart cashier broke down and shared her pain with me. Instead of using that gift in a way that hurts me though, I am now striving to be more like the spinach. Life will cut me down on occasion, but as long as I am still kicking I am going to keep on growing.
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My dear friend how are you? I see you have a very prosperous salad garden
Life will reduce me from time to time, but as long as I keep kicking I will continue to grow, Great words, I could not wait for you friend
Hi there! I am doing fantastic, and I hope you are doing well? The indoor salad garden is chugging along, I am getting ready to cut the spinach for the second time.
I like how you don't let life's reducing diminish you in any way:)
Three cheers for the Lesson of the Spinach! I, too, spent many years letting people walk all over me because I didn't want to upset them. It took counseling for me to understand it was ok for somebody else to be the one who got upset. I still drift back into the old habits from time to time, but am consciously making an effort to stand up for myself and for others. I just recently told someone off who had been asking for it for many years. It really felt good, and gave that person some food for thought.
Ah, I hate it when I drift back into old habits, especially ones of the doormat Kat kind. Good for you for getting some help to figure it out. It took me far too long to break out of the stupidity, but like I said, I don't feel like it was wasted time. Due to the fact that I actually learned something, well, hopefully:)
It really does feel good to finally stand up to those that hurt you or deserve it. Sometimes they don't even know what they are doing. Sometimes they do. It's just nice to finally feel like I don't need to hurt for any reasons other than for those that I chose. Hang in there:)
"No more doormat Kat!" Good for you Kat! Life is too short to let anyone put you down. If you don't stand up for yourself people will just walk all over you. It's human nature.
I'm often a soundboard for my friends and family. Two reasons: 1. I'm a good listener and will let someone vent out their problems. Sometimes you just need to get it out of your system. 2. I can keep a secret. I don't tell anybody anything they don't need to know. My gang knows this well so I usually end up hearing about everything going on.
But at the same time, my gang also knows they can't come to me looking for pity. I'll let them air anything out, but if they want my opinion it will be a honest one. I'm not the guy that will simply tell you what you want to hear. That doesn't help anybody. So sometimes I become the "bad guy". I can live with it. I'll tell them you can be mad at me all you want, but I'm moving past this. Nobody has abandoned me yet, so I guess I'm not all "bad".
Thanks Chops! The worst part of the whole behavioral thing is that I only let people walk all over me if they were close to me or family. Ugh.
I admire that you can be a soundboard without being a doormat. I am getting there, and it is kind of nice to have gotten to the point that I truly don't mind being the bad guy. I'm actually pretty cool with people being mad at me these days, I still love them, I am just not going to patronize their BS towards me anymore. Guess I could have just said I want to be like you when I grow up ;o)
Hope you are having a fantastic weekend!
For sure!!! I am learning this as well.... It is sad but it seems to be part of this world that nice folks are routinely used and abused. Be well.
LOL! I loved the Be Well at the end part OGP, it gave me some serious Demolition Man flashbacks:)
The thing I am working on now is being nice and being like iron when it comes to protecting my well being. It's a total learning process, but I feel like I am making progress. Hope you are being well too!
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Sorry to hear of your pain.
Big hugs!
😄😇😄
Ahh, I don't know how I missed this comment, but seriously, I needed to read it today, so on that note, big ol' hugs in return😊
Back at 'cha again, for whatever you need 'em for, and then some extra for good measure. ;)