The Truth (Key) About Cheating! (From Someone Who (Unfortunately) Knows!)
I'mma break something incredibly simple yet OUT OF THIS WORLD IMPORTANT to you right now!
Cheating 101:
Damn it, like it or not, I can tell you all about this little dandy, first hand. Trust me. I have been around this block more than once.
In cheating, LYING is most often the REAL problem not so much the act of what someone did.
That's crazy to hear isn't it? God, I thought so too until I heard it time and time again and it started to make me think...
Yes the "act" of cheating (whatever you decipher that to be) may be painful and horrible and all things bad to our egos, sure. No denying that. IT HURTS TO BE BETRAYED, no one is saying otherwise (especially not me!)
I hate to admit it but I have cheated in response to being cheated on. I have felt every side of every way this story can be played out and I am telling you, when there is honesty, it always ends up better off.
Aside from the issues obviously present in the relationship and/or person under scrutiny here, the bigger problem (inside the relationship, after the fact) is that the TRUST IS BROKEN!
Trust doesn't grow on trees and we're born and raised learning to judge based on trust, trying to feed our need for security.
That means in simplest form... When you cheat and LIE ABOUT IT, you're creating a breech of trust! = NOT GOOD!
Then, how can someone (that loved and trusted you) ever look at you the same or believe the words that come out of your mouth? After all, you lied and manipulated them... because somehow, they found out...
But if you tell the truth, it may burn like raging fire from hell, sure. But you will prove that you're willing to risk what you have to show your honesty and willingness to tell the truth (and hopefully change and work on the issue instead of repeating this problem.) That ends up working in your favor (psychologically), believe it or not.
Please let it be known, I'm not an advocate for cheating but I am a strong advocate for telling the truth, regardless of the price!
I believe that LYING is the real problem that we face today and after all I have read on the psychology of humankind, I think we need more overt honesty, no matter the cost.
In "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck" by Mark Manson it's expressed that when someone lies, it can take a lifetime to regain that trust.
My advice?
If you're gonna cheat, you need to ask yourself "why" and really decide what you're missing in your relationship to have to go outside of it to feel fulfilled...
But if you still "mess up"...
I say it's best to come clean. Be a decent human and don't give me any of that "I was trying to protect their feelings" crap. That is bullshit and you are a selfish liar. (I KNOW AND I CAN SAY THAT!)
When we can be honest and open, we can really experience love and connection.
(Disclaimer: this is from my readings and past life experience and does not reflect my present paradigm! So don't you worry friends! Xoxo)
HONESTLY, HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY! AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH, DON'T COMMIT THE LIE!
Okay. That's my free lesson on life. Upvote donations accepted 🤣
Kisses. 😘
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I'll leave you another frace that I like. Trust goes up the stairs and goes down in an elevator. Simple as that.
Love that quote Poly! It's perfect, could not have said it better! =D
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I know you didn't cheat on me, even though you kept distance from me, but then, at least come up straight and speak the truth too, my Valentine. Hahahahaha.
You just made a whole lot of sense there. Honesty pays. One thing about being lied to is, it makes you question what the person who lied to You, thinks about you. It simply shows "I am dumb enough to actually believe those lies and not notice". It hurts. The act is wrong, and more so the lies. It burns and those are the things that gives crazy memories.
Being honest is key. At least have a little shrewd of humanity.
Valentine, you know I am not going anywhere away from You, right?
Aww dearest Valentine, you know I do my best to be honest and upfront, everything is always on the open for everyone to see forever on the blockchain! ;)
It is very true what you say. In honoring each other, there needs to be honesty. People hurt each other whenever they choose not to be honest. It snowballs into new problems which no one wants or likes!
I'm right here too <3 ;)
I love your depth and understanding. I love reading from you and hearing your thoughts through your posts. You said you have been around this block long enough, well, i am here now, so you wouldn't have to go through this again and again. shines teeth
Thanks a lot adorable heart.
True! Why cheat? If you don't love the person anymore, tell them! Never cheat. Even at school, cheating is bad how much more in a relationship?
I think there is a lot of reasons why people can justify cheating in their minds (unfortunately) though I agree with you, best case is to decide before it ever happens! However, if for some reason something happens that doesn't allow that to take place prior, I have seen that being honest and upfront is the only way that can help heal the pain that comes along with it.
Yes, true. Just be honest with your partner and talk about how to deal with it rather than waiting for your partner to find out which will really cause more pain.
Very insightful. I hope you're doing well @heart-to- heart, we should chat sometime!
Hey @ma1neevent :) I would love to hear what you're up to! I'm doing good (don't worry, this post was just my mind wandering, nothing that's just happened to me!) =D Let's catch up on DC soon!
Good looking.💫🌝💫
Your advice is good for life.🌱
My friend I think that if impose a "TRUTH" on your whole life you will never ever worry about any losses.
TRUTH can change your mind.
With the power of truth you'll not be cheated from others.
With the power of Truth you can change other's mind.😇
Bless you take care.
If love is unconditional then there is no cheating, I know I sound a little naive here, but that's the nature of love :)
In some ways I agree with you but in this case, I am more talking about lying/hiding the truth not so much the act of cheating, just about being open and honest with each other if something would occur outside of the agreement of the relationship (which likely wouldn't happen in the first place is proper communication and truthfulness was present at get go!) ;)
If you truly love, you are love. And you can't hide the truth or lie to love, the very fabric which holds the universe together :)