“Why don’t you cut your hair & get a real job!” | A Message About Kindness
Long hair, don’t care.
Treat others with respect and kindness.
Last week - on my lunch break - I was yelled at by an older male “Cut your fucking hair and get a real job!” This person happened to be wear a shirt of the establishment I was just about to patron! Unbelievable. Let’s just say we exchanged a few words.
At the time of writing this post, I’m awaiting the regional manager to discuss said event...but honestly, there’s nothing he’ll be able to do to heal what’s already been done. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had run-ins with disrespectful people due to my unique look, but this time cut deeper than usual. It’s been lingering in my space. Present in all my interactions. Squashed my positive outlook and demeanor. Even, disrupted my performance at work.
“There’s a direct correlation between
practicing kindness and
the development of intuition.”
Belleruth Naparstek
Kindness. Toward others. Toward yourself.
It’s pretty common to have been told to practice kindness. After all, it’s what I’m asking of you now... this advice usually sounds like a ‘should,’ as in, “To be a good person you should be kind.”
But consider this...
When you are experiencing kindness you are in an open, accepting state. Kindness facilitates openness, connection, and possibility. These are attributes which also support experiencing intuition.
What if you simply choose to practice kindness in order to develop your intuitive skills? And receive the other benefits of kindness as a bonus.
Before reading this quote did you already know the correlation between kindness and intuition? How did you know it? Intuitively?
Kind words; a lot of strength in those two words. For you to achieve what you want, the strength of kind words can be far more effective than the power of shouting.
Some of the attributes of kind words are:
- a neutral emotional charge to your tone.
neither forceful nor timid - brevity, an absence of story.
not “selling” them on your kind words - unattachment to getting any response.
your kind words are your gift - your feeling from delivering kind words.
you get ‘paid’ in the delivery.
Photo from Unsplash
I am completing this post a day after sitting with the regional manager. Thru this event I have reminded myself of a few practices that will improve my own kindness & intuition in the future: Experience emotion before acting on it. Consider others are not doing the same - and that’s ok. Remember that you (me) want to be *listened* to from a place of kindness... even if kindness is not present.
Fantastic. That's how to break it down.
I like how you approached this topic. You cut deep into the real steps towards subconsciously developing a sense of humility.
And as a public shout out to the guy who spat out the nonsense before understanding your character...
"Why do you care?"
The topic isn’t something I’d typically share on, but this defiantly felt necessary. Thank you for the support.
And seriously... “why do you care!?” Lol
somethings never change. My next elder brother was being told in the early 70s to get a haircut and get a job.
@panthtosuccess Are you referencing the hippie movement in the 60s-70s?
I'm referencing my brother who wore his hair long and got pretty much the same reaction as you only back in the 70s.
Changing perpetual cycles doesn’t scare me. Thanks for the comment.
I am not sure how your long hair has anything to do with what kind of person you are lol. I never understood this concept of judging people on their appearences, it is strange and weird to me. I am glad you are coping with it.
So true. Thank you for the guidance @zen-art!
This lines up with a thought I've been having a lot lately. When we don't understand a situation or a person we (I mean as a society or people) respond negatively.
I had been training myself agaisnt this kind of thinking for a few years...it took a long time. Then it felt out of nowhere that the people I was around were doing just that. And it's the small things. Grocery carts for instance. We shop at Aldi all the time. Someone said "I can't believe people still leave carts out in the parking lot, the quarters were supposed to fix that." and I said that I thought when people did that it was more of a gift to the next person who might not have a quarter. It's all about perspective. I thought it was an act of kindness, where they thought it was being rude. But since we'll never know for sure, I would rather choose to think for the best.
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THANK YOU for sharing this story, your musings afterwards, and giving all of us something to ponder!
Firstly, I relate a lot to having longer hair and being mistreated. Maybe not that way. However, I was told by school headmasters/teachers and basically all family relatives (and I have 16 aunts and uncles) to cut my hair. It didn't make sense that socially I had good-looking her, but professionally it was a mess. When I had an interview and was not chosen, my family decided that it's because of my longer hair. Psh!
plays Hair by Lady Gaga in the background
As for the kindness, I agree. Don't do it for the sake of doing it; but do it because you care. I know some people try to be nice and to be kind, but in doing so, they might sometimes miss the point by not listening because they're rehearsing how to be kind socially.
This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.
great write-ups and I really learned a lot... and look what we have here..youre from the alliance too... a lot of good writers are really flocking in that community