This is Why I'm Starting Over

in #life6 years ago

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When I was 22, I booked a one-way ticket to New Zealand. After college I was left wanting more. I felt like the world had more to teach me.

Since that moment I’ve been obsessed with defining my own success and living an intentional life.

I spent 6.5 years traveling around the world and living overseas.

But then I aged. I settled into my life in the U.S. I had a family. My vision became short-sighted. I began to disconnect from my biggest dreams and goals.

I focused on paying the bills.

I had social commitments to worry about.

I was trying to raise a son.

I started valuing security over adventure.

And then, Tony happened.

In March my husband and I went to a marketing conference in Orlando. On the last day, Tony Robbins was speaking.

I never really got into Tony Robbins. As a born contrarian, I have an annoying habit of rejecting what other people hype up.

Then I watched his Netflix documentary, I Am Not Your Guru. I saw the life-changing impact his seminar had on others. They cried. They hugged. They shouted with joy. Tears of gratitude sprung from their eyes. I wasn't in the room but I felt like I was on the journey with them.

His performance at the conference was legendary. He had us jumping up and down, hands raising the roof like a manic version of the 90's dance craze.

We had to dip out on Tony's live presentation, I felt that Tony had a lot more to teach me.

The Book That Changed My Life

The first book I bought was Unlimited Power. The description promised to reveal how to discover what I wanted to do with my life.

As I read through the book, we were challenged with an exercise: write out everything I’d love to achieve in my lifetime.

After I wrote out my dreams, I separated the goals into time frames. I noted which ones I could achieve in a year and which ones would take longer.

I wrote Most Important Goals of 2018 at the top of a page and scribbled some ideas. There, staring back at me, were the words write a book.

Writing a book has always been a dream of mine. Stories of my past bubble up in my brain constantly. They tell themselves over and over. It feels like the stories are desperately searching for an outlet, but I haven't given them one yet.

When I reflected on the idea of writing a book, I thought Why not me? Writing a book feels like a lofty goal. But I know that any goal can be reverse engineered and broken up into small, achievable bite sized pieces.

After my revelation, I turn to Google. I ask it how many words are in a book.

Google says there are roughly 55,000 words in a 200-page book. That means if I write 1,000 words a day, I'll have a first draft in two months.

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So I put a system in place. I wake up and I write. I’ve been writing about 1,000 words every morning. A lot of it is bad. I haven't written much for the past four years, so this isn't surprising.

I don't let that discourage me. I get the first draft out. I let it sit. Then I go back and rewrite. And rewrite again.

I know that if I write every day, a book will be born. Even if it takes longer than two months.

When I hold that book in my hands with my name on the cover, and I flip through the crisp pages and smell the fresh ink, it will all be worth it.

A Drastic Move

To make this dream a reality I have to turn my focus to writing great content and not just making money. So we’re moving to Colombia. There, we get to live rent-free at my in-law’s apartment. Our overhead will be dramatically less than what it is in Miami. And we’ll have the time and mental space to focus on what we want.

We refuse to choose a comfortable life over a fulfilling life. We believe in ourselves and our personal power to achieve what it is we set out to do.

I don’t know how long we’ll be in Colombia. We love Miami and have an amazing group of friends here that we want to stay with. But we’re also ready to incorporate more travel into our lifestyle.

At 32, I find myself booking another one-way ticket. This time it’s to Colombia, not New Zealand. But the pursuit is the same -- to find out what I’m made of. To prove it to myself. To find freedom.

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