This is why we don't apologize

in #life6 years ago

When we’re kids, we learn to apologize when we do something wrong, but once we grow up it becomes harder to admit if we’ve done something wrong.

I’m sure that at some point someone did something to you and hurt you, but instead of apologizing, that person used techniques to avoid admitting that he/she has done something wrong.

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Do you ever wonder why your partner can say “I’m sorry” when accidentally hitting someone in a bus, but can’t apologize to you?

When you refuse to apologize it’s not about your ego, it’s about protecting yourself. Adults don’t apologize because the words “I’m sorry” cause them certain fears that they want to avoid. Here’s how it works.

Admitting mistakes.


Adults can’t make the difference between a wrong action and their own character.

They tend to believe that neglecting means selfishness, or that doing a bad thing means ignorance.

That’s why apologies become a threat to their own self-esteem.

Guilt.


Most of us don’t apologize because we’re afraid of the sentiment of guilt.

We believe that feeling guilty isn’t about our actions, it’s about ourselves, which makes it a toxic feeling, but it’s not true.

If we’ve done something wrong, that doesn’t define us.

Conflict.


If normally apologies end conflicts, some might believe that admitting a mistake can lead to a bigger fight.

Responsibility.


One of the reasons we refuse to apologize is that we’re afraid that we would have to take all of the responsibility on ourselves.

For example, even if we realize what we’ve done wrong, in a fight with a partner we won’t say “I’m sorry” because we don’t want to be considered guilty for everything, when the partner has also done something wrong.

Adults don’t apologize because that’s what makes them feel like they can control their emotions.

If they like to keep an emotional distance towards their partner, apologizing would mean to become vulnerable, saying “I’m sorry” would bring them closer to the partner and that scares them.

What they don’t know is that an experience like that will help them make the relationship stronger, and it will increase their trust in their partner and themselves.

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others too think more of their ego.this has made people think they are lowered once they admit they have fault.thats so good to hear @jwolf

Human have full of egos. hahaha. but some people they can easily apologise but do not mean it. I rather not to say any apology if it does not mean anything to me.

That is so true. I have had people do blantatly bad things to me, but when I confronted them, they gave stupid excuses and told white lies. Like you said, adult people have a hard time admitting their mistakes. They would rather just give lame excuses.

Yes!
I agree
We need to take more responsibilities that true bro
@Jwolf

Admitting our mistakes is the best way to stay peaceful

Good post......

Depends on the people but most of them are really ignorant.

Thank you for sharing!

The inability of humans to use the five letter word sorry has led to someone many damage in this world.

We all need to let go of our ego and say sorry when necessary and with all sincerity.

I really like this post

you are right here ,We are afraid to take all responsibility. With these things i think our ego stops us to say sorry.Ego is the big thing to destroy any relation ship.This thing keeps us away from saying sorry .We feels shy to say sorry.

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