Sharing a message that was for an acquaintance of mine.

in #life6 years ago (edited)

01_Silent_signs_seasonal_depression_disorder_SAD_good_zzs_yanyong.jpg
Hi, guys, I am here today to share my experience with one of m acquaintances. This man had confronted me today and had been frank with me, telling me that I am "never sure" of myself or anything when I was trying to help him. Now, I am not mad at him at all, his words just hurt me from the moment they left his mouth, piercing through my sensitive heart and giving me pain that I have all come to familiar with, but still can't handle its pain no matter how many times people have belittled and degraded me so deservingly so. He is 100% correct without a doubt I am "never sure" of myself or anything. I have apologized to this man in person for trying to "help" him, even though my help was ineffective and probably 100% incorrect. I didn't mean to give him the wrong information or try to question him and make him doubt himself. I am just a horrible and disgraceful human being that no one wants anything to do with since I am unhelpful. ugly. stupid, and illiterate. This isn't the only thing I have done wrong to this great man. Since the start of High School and the end of middle school I have been bothering and annoying him, and it's as clear as day for anyone to see. I can even remember how we used to treat each other our first 2 years of knowing each other, I would constantly say things that he wouldn't like even if it was for the most part for humorous purposes and he would avoid me rightfully so. I could tell he didn't want anything to do with me at the time and still to this day, he had only done so because I forced him to by abusing his kindness knowing he wouldn't push me away even letting me have his carbs sometimes.
Although just recently he had hit a breaking point and had been frank with me telling me that I am "never sure" of myself or anything; I could tell that this is not even a portion of what he really wanted to say about me to my face. He held back because he knew that I had already known what a fucked up person I was and I had done to him. I am just so sorry to him that I pushed his kind sweet soul that far and for all these years of torture having to deal with me and my stupidity, ugliness, embarrassment, cringe, sexual thoughts, and etc. It took him 3 years just to finally be able to confront me about this and I am so sorry that I have screwed this opportunity up and for all these years of taking your time and all those times I have disturbed you in discord when you were talking to your friends. Even though we were never friends and will never be I hope that we can still be acquaintances, because I hate you less than most people, even though you hate me; not more than I hate myself and my life though.
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