Fast forward

Old age is something that we tend to ignore when we are young. As we grow older and get closer to the retirement age, our perspective shifts. We change the lens and see things differently.

We finally get to understand that we are not invincible. We get to understand that those problems that "the old folks" were complaining about, are affecting us as well. Harder the impact they have on us, higher the empathy we feel.

When we are kids, all we want is to get bigger, to be allowed certain treats, toys, gadgets, movies - have access to restricted items. We are annoyed about all this age appropriate rules. Grown ups just can't see that there are too many things to discover and too little time for them! Asking a child to be patient and wait a few years is simply torture!

Later on, the teenage years knock on the door and the world gets bigger and bigger, as it timidly reveals the many shades of love, from crushes to passions. Along with it, an avalanche of feelings to sort out throughout the upcoming years.

The 20s arrive to lift up the "restricted" or "age related" label which brings a new set of tides with unseen highs and lows. That's when you push yourself way beyond the limits without having a single thought about the repercussions of your acts.

If you were fine to hang out with your folks until this age, now all of the sudden your agenda becomes too busy. No time to visit or call. Being a recent graduate ain't easy! Snatching a job equals independence. Nothing values more than having your own "shack".

For the next decade you are trapped in between "follow your dream career", "make connections" and "build up a reputation". Balancing work and late nights out with friends is still not a problem. You can handle four hours of sleep per night without suffering for a week.

Without knowing you reached the 30s. That's cool! You still see yourself young and capable of ruling the world. Nothing changed yet! Except that you party less and the words "family" or "marriage" are a bit more present on your mind. That may be due to your parents' nagging about you getting old all and their wish to meet their grandchildren.

Once in a blue moon you wake up from a nightmare in the middle of the night, all worried that your credit score wasn't good enough to get that fancy condo downtown. You struggle to remember if you had paid all of your bills on time, hoping you hadn't forget anything that could have affected your score. Right then, you realize that you've become just like your parents. Welcome to the real world!

A few more years and you become a parent yourself. Your perspective shifts again as you are no longer the centre of your universe. That little creature they handed to you (without a manual!) at the hospital has changed your views on everything. You go back to having sleepless nights, though now you do it for total different reasons.

You are surprised to discover how well you can manage changing diapers in the dark or for how long you can cope with the lack of sleep. Even the loud screams and cries don't sound as disturbing as before. A little smile for your offspring has the ability to wipe out all of those.

One morning you hear your spouse wishing you for your 40th birthday. Damn! That feels like a punch in the face. You avoid checking in the mirror for more white hair. It takes a few days to take it all in! You call your bank and increase your contribution to your pension cause retirement doesn't look that far away now.

Your 50th is a big deal! You look back at your career and wonder if you could have done better. Spending time with your folks becomes a necessity as their days are numbered and you have become more and more aware of it in the past years.

Health issues here and there give a prospective of what's to come and what to expect or look for in the following decade. You gave up worrying about the white hair and slowly embraced the idea of aging.

When the 60s roll in, you're already a grandparent. Still working, but looking forward to retiring down South. Somehow you'll end up not going because you won't find the strength to stay away from your grandkids for long periods of time.
Finally the retirement day arrives and everyone celebrates you!

They all laugh and smile saying they are happy for you while you freak out about how boring and meaningless your life will be. You spent two quarters of your life working and got used to identify yourself with your profession. Will anyone remember you at your former workplace? How are they going to manage without you? Acknowledging that life goes on and you are replaceable hurts!

The first year as a retiree passes by and you go through different stages. Your kids tease you by saying you are depressed. They could be right. Some of your friends pass away while others develop some serious health problems. Luckily that is not the case for you. You thank yourself for having increased your contribution to the RRSP.

In your 70s you divide your time between weekly family reunions and doctors' appointments. You go back to having naps and learn how to tame your impulses. The body has a mind of its own now and you have to respect that. Once in a way you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror or a shop's window and notice you have aged gracefully.

Grateful to still have your partner you dread the idea of losing him and being left all alone in that big house. You've made your will and all the arrangements for your funeral long time ago. Family reunions get you tired fast and you enjoy more your quiet time.

In your 80s each time you go to bed at night you ask yourself if you'd get the chance to open them once more. By now you've come acquainted with death and you aren't fearing it as you used to. You've made peace. You've seen quite some changes throughout your life. To everyone's surprise, you are still active. Your mind is sharp as ever. Thank God for that!

The 90's take away your driver's license and your independence. Your family tree grew and your grandchildren have kids of their own. You hate the fact that you need help. You call yourself a burden inviting death to pass by.