In the Life: Domestic Violence Survivor Story Part 2

It was a winter cloudy afternoon. He called about wanting me to join him and a few of his family members on a road trip to a cultural celebration three hours away from town. Somehow, I agreed. Terrible decision. I thought it'll be different with his families. Next thing I know, I was in the car with them towards a city where I did not know anyone and where anything can happen and a high chance I could be left alone.

I remember the car ride there. His sweet gentle touch made me feel secure. But deep on the inside, was the unexpected I knew that was coming on the way there. Not long into the trip, I started to feel unsafe. I knew I had to be extra careful not to disturb the things he did during the cultural celebration ceremony and let him be or else I wouldn't be able to see my home for a long time. I was scare of being abandoned even if I did or say the slightest thing. I had to keep close to him and obey his commands or I would be left in a unknown place far from home.

You'd question why did I go knowing my instincts were telling me to stay home where it is safe. I ask myself this question as well, "why did I go with him to another city knowing what I was going to get myself into?" Till this day, I am unsure. I guess I wanted another chance. Another chance to hope that things between us were 'ok' and that we can do better. A part of me probably wanted us to go back to how it was before...before all the chaos happened.

Boy, was I wrong. What I had hoped for did not prepare me for the worst. As the time went on throughout the day, nightfall came. His family decided we'd spend the night before heading back home the next morning. I had to lie and call my parents to make an excuse why I was going to be home the next day. I felt horrible. I was exhausted. My energy was low and I was weak. All I wanted to do was have a little sleep. With his family around and little money, we rented a small motel where we all shared the space just to get us by til the next morning.

They decided to stop by a liquor store. I can see them hanging out outside in the parking lot drinking, while I remained inside. I vaguely remembered why he was angry and poured down a whole bottle of beer down my head and threw the bottle on the floor causing a scene with the glass broken everywhere in the room. I believe it had to do with something that one of us did while we were at a concert that same night which angered him.

I was scared. I was scared for my life as the glass could've killed me instantly if it was on hit on my head instead of the liquid pour. I was in tears shaken from the sudden violence. Luckily, his sister was my angel for the night who cared for me and keeping me away from his insanity. I ran to the bathroom, showered, and changed as I cried non stop. I didn't understand what just happened. That whole night, I couldn't sleep as he continued to come around me to constantly apologize. I ignored him that whole night.

That was one of the longest nights in my life. Little did I sleep but I couldn't wait till morning came. Finally, we headed home. Never did I feel so much as peace knowing I would make it home....alive. I was so happy to see my home where my loved ones were and where I know I didn't have to worry and take a long nice sleep where I was comforted.

And as you guessed, I did not tell anyone what had happened on this trip. I kept my mouth shut as much as I was still terrified about when this incident will happen again. I knew it could happen again and I didn't think of what I can do to prevent it. I was clueless and thought everything I could possibly think of was the impossible. I was not confident and my self-esteem level decrease. I didn't believe in myself and I was devastated to have let what happened that night happened to me knowing I did nothing wrong.

My instincts were true. What happened that night came back only worse than before. The next thing I knew, I couldn't breathe.