Gadashi!
I was staring straight ahead at the road as I drove at a nice steady speed. The family were all with me and we were headed out to the local park to let the children torment the ducks.
Despite my hangover, all was well.
The good lady said something. I turned my head slightly to acknowledge her and then...
Something hard and heavy struck the side of my head.
Years of training in the temple at the foot of Mount Shan kicked in immediately. My eyes narrowed and despite seeing stars I yelled our battle cry -GADASHI! Then I threw the door open and somersaulted from the car.
I landed lightly on the roof of a nearby parked car like an acrobat with genital herpes and quickly scanned for enemies.
The car I had been driving careened off the road into a gully and exploded into flames.
I bowed my head in momentary grief for my loved ones. Before snapping it quickly up again, fire in my eyes. There would be time to grieve if I managed to escape this pickle.
CLANG
Out of the corner of my eye, I detected a blur of motion and threw myself to the side, a black metal throwing star screeching a gouge into the bodywork of the car where I had crouched.
Now I knew what I was dealing with.
I rolled to the side of the car and reached under my t-shirt for the hidden throwing knives of Jahar that were always strapped to my body.
I saw a shadow move nearby and leapt 16 feet into the air twirling in slow motion like a ballet dancer in a washing machine before unleashing three of the knives of Jahar.
A black-clad ninja body fell silently from a nearby tree, a knife embedded to the hilt in his eye.
The other target was not so silent, the Jaharian knife buried deep in his groin, he screamed in incomprehensible Japanese at me as his lifeblood splashed dully to the pavement.
I crept over and grabbed the front of his inky black ninja tunic.
Who sent you? Answer me!
I shook him hard.
A hoarse and cracked voice sounded out from behind me and too late I felt the cold steely dullness of a gun barrel at my temple.
Who sent him, why, you should know the answer to...
Oh! Boom!! Right to the side of the head! Daddy-Bear, are you ok?
The good lady looked concerned as I pulled the car over to a halt and rubbed at my temple where the child's shoe had struck it square on. The little boom guffawed from the back seat. Evidently pleased at his new trick of being able to pull his winter shoe off and throw it at the head of the man driving the car.
I'm ok.
I grunted.
Are you sure?
I made a face as if someone had served me Cardamom Ice cream and started the car up.
Yeah. Don't worry about me...
I said grimly, scanning the treetops around the car.
Worry about them...
I never had a shoe to the head , but then I never had a Scottish ninja warrior sitting behind me. Maybe install a protective cage around the car seat explaining it is for extra safety for the kids. The good old lady seems to listen to you.
HEhe, I can see it now. A protective cage keeping the excesses of the family away from me. I might end up needing it if this carries on. Or remove anything hard and dangerous from him!
Tee hee...ninjas Oh @meesterboom you do amuse.
Again, I think of a South park I loved when they children played ninjas and everyone in town was frightened as they thought they were 'terrorists' good stuff.
Haha, oh man that was great. I love South park, is the best!!!
@meesterboom, hooo nooo small grasshoppers (Kun Fu) attacking the driver with nosive elements, this only saw in the television erie, did not know what happened in real life, that was a hard blow. There's nothing worse than stopping a blow when we're unprepared, you're a future UFC warrior at home.
I take the opportunity to wish you an excellent week dear friend
Cage fighting here I come!! Well, in my dreams perhaps!!
This might be my favorite thing you have written to date. While I was reading this I was visualizing you driving to my local park, and I get the feeling the next time I go there I will be scanning the treeline too :)
It always pays to watch that treeline like a hawk!!
He can travel in the boot from now on.
As soon as I can fashion some type of hamster drip bottle it will be done!
That'll wake you up in the morning....or in your case send you into a dreamscape hahaha! I remember those days, the red haze that would descend over my vision for a moment of whodoineedtokill then the realization it was the tiny laughing child and the fury would fizzle into grunts lol
I know, I was like wtfunkz!? Then realised I had been assaulted by my own child who is only a year and a half old, madness!!!
He is luck I am a progressive, new wave something or other ;0)
Ha, he sure is! For some that would constitute a butt whoopin!
That was my thinking, thankfully he had all earth maiden for a mother, lol!
Hehe, yes indeed it does!!
Oooooo those sneaky back seat ninjas!
What are they like with their shoe flinging!!
haha! brilliant sir meesterboom! I particularly enjoyed "like an acrobat with genital herpes" haha! and the artwork is amazing as well!
Hehe, I am going to get that one printed out for the loft!
It's brilliant sir meesterboom. I also think people get used to the skilled writing and don't appreciate the tremendous artwork also! you're the whole package. lol.
You are far too kind dude!
I think I'm just stating the facts. lol.
:0)
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