Winker
It was just another day in work. I was sitting at my desk idly plotting the downfall of the world when a svelte shadow fell over me.
Hey, BoomDawg?
I quickly flicked my screen away from some random web skiving to some more serious looking SQL query devilment I had been wrestling with.
I looked up with the usual suspicion I have, when an interloper, interlopes near my desk.
Yes that's me.
I said with handsome abandonment when I noticed that the person speaking was a blonde lady of the glamorous persuasion.
Oh, hi!. I'm Kartika, the new UX lead. I was told to come and introduce myself!
She finished this with a throaty chuckle as if we were a couple of horses in a field excited to see the farmer dropping off yet more hay.
I found myself making a noise like a Walrus ejaculating into a cup.
Damn, this lady was hot. I felt my howitzer rumble slightly in the dark fields of Nevermore.
She chatted for a while and I told some rubbish jokes whilst explaining the schizz of what went on around here.
As she left I couldn't help but admire her lean flanks and long mane.
Something troubled me though. She was quite young. Perhaps in her mid twenties? Whilst this was magnificent for her, it meant that she was probably around half my age. Not good.
More so even because a funny thing that I have always suffered from is an unaccountable lusting after women who are older than me. I have certainly never had a thing for ladies younger than me.
Then it struck me.
Has the opposite kicked in? Have I reached an age where some odd reversal has tugged my ship the wrong way up the river?
Oh no, I recognise this... It's that old dad thing? You see it all the time. The pathetic old dad's wearing skinny jeans and brightly coloured woollen things flirting with young ladies like demented poodles and the young ladies in question rolling their eyes so hard that they get sea-sick.
I gave myself a shake.
No, this will not be me. I will not be that kind of lecherous old man.
Later on the train on the way home I was sitting at a table seat.
A young pretty chick stopped and motioned at the seat across from me.
Hey, is this seat taken?
I waved a hand majestically at it and in a peculiar booming voice proclaimed.
OH NO, IT'S FREE. BE MY GUEST.
She looked awkward for a moment. My face twitched slightly. Then she plopped down in a different seat further away.
Wait? Did I accidentally just wink at her??!
OMGZ. IT's HAPPENING?!?! I am turning into a flirty old Dad bastard?!
HELP ME!!!!
Remember this... there is nothing creepier than a flirty old Dad bastard!!
I can't tell you how very curious I am to know what that sounds like!
A deep and peculiar honking!! :0D
Another question might be how big is the cup or is it all show and no spunk.
A man can be forgiven for admiring a woman who is too young for him, but never for winking. That is even worse than driving too slow in the passing lane. A society that permits that kind of behavior is doomed.
It is! I can hardly believe I did it. I mean I love a good wink but I can usually contain them!!
Must be older than your own age divided by two, plus seven. Stick to that. Be strong. Don't wink. A quick glance will have to do.
That's the one, I had that calculation on the tip of my tongue, as it were!
haha! sir meesterboom! hey the artwork at the top is incredibly un-nerving. If you looked like that you would scare anyone away! lol.
It looks quite close!! Now I know why people run when they see me coming!
It's true you get to that age that it is just not right. They are way younger and it should be illegal lol.
It should be, things should be back the way they were when I ignored the younger ladies!
Well, you'll know for sure if you find yourself in skinny jeans and colourful woollen things XD
I do quite fancy something skinny of the Jean ;0)
Please control yourself, meesterboom. You were already married with kids. How will the good lady react if she saw you like this? Think about the consequences. Hahahah. Upvoted!
I'm always thinking of the consequences!
Hahaha you old winker you.... I remember being 20 and my dad's friends or golf buddies in their 40's would talk to me or try and make a joke I always thought Eeeeeuw you are so old.... well apparently it happens to all men LOL
It seems too be the case. I am putting my jokes firmly on ice!!
My husband always said when our daughter was like 18/19 when his friends are busy chatting with a young girl he just want to shout at them 'That is somebody's daughter.' It is interesting that once you have your own daughter, as a man you now understand all your previous girlfriends' dads LOL
It is funny how a lot of the things you think do change though that's for sure!!
Well I say embrace it. You see if the flirting goes South, you likely can excuse it as from being a silly old guy...but if the flirting works out - Boom! Of course not that I have any first hand knowledge of anything!
The I know nothing approach is always a goodie!
LOLZZZZ, oh shit, my friend Mary recently went on a tirade about middle aged men and their desires for pretty young things, I will not be showing her this post lest I am subjected to SEEEE, I TOLD YOUUUU.
It is my opinion that so long as hands stay away there's no real problem with admiring a pretty piece of art, so flirt away you old dad bastard.
I've got my best flirty dad shoes on for some quality flirting!!
I've got my best flirt
Dad shots on daddy for some
Quality flirting!!
- meesterboom
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.