An Introduction to Chaotic Thoughts

in #life5 years ago (edited)

Where do I start? Well... let's try the begginning. Hello everyone, I am Mr. Y. Why Mr. Y? Good question...

asydodgedmry.jpg

I was born between the Generation Y and I thought it would be a funny and perhaps interesting play on that Simpsons episode with Mr. X. I love justice and the rightful one. Unfortunately we are living in an era where money speaks louder than actions or even evidence, plenty of people tend to throw their dignity down the drain but I've always preferred to remain pure to my own intentions and to what my motives are.
Because you know what? At some point in my life I hung out with the rich... People with money, cars, houses, companies, you name it. And it is not meaningful. It is not as meaningful as the moments poor people spend along with each other. I also spent a lot of time with poor people and I will just say that those were some fantastic moments... Everything was genuine, things were shared and enjoyed. Poor people rather spend their savings on a few cheap beers with friends than buying an expensive bottle of wine just for themselves.


Source : https:// i0.wp.com/www.senate.gov/artandhistory/art/resources/graphic/xlarge/38_00392.jpg

Anyway, I tend to really drift off my topics... It's kind of a flaw of mine? Or is it a quality? I don't know, you tell me what you think. But back to where I was initially. Ah yes, justice... I like to fight for what's right and not for what is profitable for me. Whether you believe me as someone truthful and with good intentions or just another scammer who tends to pursue the righteous wannabes by pretending to be one and then fools them and runs away with the money, it's up to you. But I know what I believe in and what makes me jump towards activity day in and day out.

Now, of course I'm not just driven by motives but also have been an entertainer at heart ever since I was a kid. But there's a twist... You just wait. Ever since a young age I was raised as a christian in a christian family. Church every Sunday, bible readings every week with the other ladies of the building, catechism every week, baptism, even went on to the altar to give those vanilla cookie things and the wine, passed on the basket to collect the tips, etc, etc... Now i'm an atheist. Ha, ain't that a bitch? As surprising as that may seem, it is not the twist... Anyways, I also did theater for the church a couple of times and I've always been incredibly passionate about making other people laugh and overall extracting emotions and expressions from them. No, not with a tube you psychos! With a scalpel. Just joking! I kid, I kid... In school I always loved being the clown of the class, it made me legitimately happy with myself to see other people laughing at my goofy jokes or actions. Now for the twist though... I have anxiety. Some pretty severe anxiety that prevents me from promoting myself and getting myself out there. I always think that i'm not worthy of being on the spotlight or that my content is any good. It also prevents me from being socially active and going into those DM's to just have a quick conversation and hopefully keep people interested in me so I end up constantly falling into oblivion... And so does my content. The anxiety is product of neglect, lack of education as a teenager and overall a dysfunctional family. My grandmother, who was raising and educating me, committed suicide when I was 12 years old (I only found she did this when I was already 27 so it didn't hit that hard) and my grandfather as a truck driver always had a really hard time being around to guide me in the right directions so I made A LOT of mistakes as an adolescent. My father also killed himself when I was 16 but because he was barely around it did not affect me at all. I was also fooled by 90% of the people I used to think were my friends, so I also developed a huge mistrust for most people. Why did I mention all of this? No, i'm not trying to put you into Lake Development mode but it was just to explain the genesis of my anxiety.


Source : https:// adaa.org/ sites/default/files/2018-11/negative-thoughts.jpg

Any who, as someone who loves entertainment, at a very young age I started practicing vocals in my room. Death Metal vocals... Yeah, I know, vomit your innards stereotype and whatnot, Ha-Ha. Later on I managed to start making music in a band while I was studying and it was still to this day the greatest moment of my life. The band was a brotherhood and I felt like friendship finally meant something more than materialistic crap. It also helped me grow A LOT as an individual. While I was in the band I also started an online radio station which was sort of an assist to promote the band while also doing something I loved to do which was DJing and promoting music I enjoyed. Got plenty of records from across the world for promoting but, anxiety always prevented me from promoting it as something that could be profitable for sponsorships and never made a dime out of it, instead it was thousands invested with no return. Well, no financial return because the appreciation I gathered from artists and bands that loved the way I conducted the interviews and the promotional shows filled me up with joy. Unfortunately, you can't really eat joy though so I had to be done with it in 2018. It was almost 10 years of radio hosting which led me to podcasting which I've been doing for the past 2 years hoping that one day I gather enough audience to get some sponsorship that gives me the possibility to improve the equipment and studio. I don't podcast for money though, I like to convey my thoughts and opinions on multiple things and that's the whole reason why I do it.


Source : https:// statesmanmedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/iStock-848658582.jpg

I also do voice acting with over 6 different voices "perfected" and always keep meddling into all kinds of activities here and there in the hopes that one day something works and I find my calling to finally allow myself to get sustainability.

With that said I hope to write down multiple posts regarding all things I mentioned here... I'm new to Steemit but the people that pointed me towards this feel trustworthy and with similar motives as I do. I think we should all try to improve the world rather than pursuing selfish acts for personal success or whatever. I'm tired of all the supremacy that is conveyed nowadays, sugar coated to seem "equality" when equality isn't even that great. We should promote equity. Help those in need for the gratification of helping, rather than financial gains. I hated YouTube and Facebook videos of homeless people being helped, being promoted everywhere and seen by millions, getting donations and whatnot when in reality it was all for personal gains... You might argue... Well, but if they're helping someone with nothing, is it so wrong to get something in return? Yes because it's not something... It's A LOT! Thousands of dollars from views all over the place just because everyone wants to be that warrior that's seen with high regards.

Influence people to be legitimately good, not to be good when there's cameras filming and then off camera their discussing how smelly the one they helped was or how shitty their lives truly are and that they wish it'd never happen to them. That's the pinnacle of hypocrisy my friends and it is not good. With that said, i'm sorry if this took longer than you expected but I am an individual that talks a lot. I always have a lot to say. I always have my mind racing and I always try to transmit that knowledge is never prejudicial, even in abundance. Thank you for reading and have a fantastic day.

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