My New Year's Resolution: Quit Steemit

in #life6 years ago (edited)

Usually, these decisions are hard to make.
This will be an easy one for me.

NoNamesLeftToUse - Finito.jpeg

That is my cover image. It says, Finito.

I think that's a fancy word for finished.

I wanted to dress nice for this moment, so I did.

Since you can't see what I'm wearing, I thought I'd just use fancy words.

They Say

New Year's resolutions are hard to keep. Most fail. Many people know they're full of shit long before they even say anything. I guess they don't take themselves seriously.

You all know I can be quite stubborn, when I feel like being stubborn. If I say something, I do my best to put my money where my mouth is. I don't let my mouth write checks that my ass can't cash. I think I heard that on Dr. Phil once. I don't watch that show. I hear his voice sometimes because other people watch. I try to tell them to change the channel but they just get angry and tell me that if I don't shut up, I'll be on that show someday, talking about how traumatized I am years after getting my ass kicked.

I made that up. Nobody talks to me like that.

Anyway

Yeah. I guess this is it. I know damn well I won't be breaking this New Year's resolution. It doesn't require work. I'm actually giving myself all kinds of free time.

Maybe I'll go work at the plant. I think they're still hiring. I'm not sure I can be around that much weed without being tempted to take some home though. It might be a bad idea. Normally, one can simply steal weed from someone and they can't call the cops. Things are changing. This legal stuff is moving in. It's considered property now and property theft is typically frowned upon.

Or maybe they give some away for lunch breaks.

Moving On

That's what I must do.

Something is starting to feel a bit off though.

I'm noticing my fingers.

They're moving at a high rate of speed. I hear clicking. When I look forward, I see words appearing in front of me. It's really weird. Every time I think of a word, it appears in front of me. What the hell is going on?

You know what! I think I know what I'm doing!

I'm already fucking up my New Year's resolution!

One day! I couldn't even make it one full day!

Well whatever. There's always next year.

So

I guess I'll see you folks around.

Try to go easy on me. It's not fun being such a failure. I'm sure you know how it is.

Have a great 2018!

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If I had a job waiting for me at the weed factory, I'd be quitting Steemit as well. Can't blame you, bro!

I'm chuckling so much, I started coughing. Way to help me clear my lungs. I knew you were full of it right from the start with this one, lol. But yeah, resolutions rarely happen, but I am planning on keeping mine (I hope). Thanks for the laugh, as always :-). Btw, we prob don't want to see what you're wearing (chuckles again).

I just sit here in my gitch all day.

It amazes me how many do not read the posts completely before they respond. I just read the comments (face-palm). At least those who know you get it, lol.

This is a special form of humor I guess. Really hard to pull off in writing. I'm basically just putting myself in the shoes of a moron. It's self-deprecation humor. It's even tagged and says that right there! LOL. Oh well. I expected that. Knew it would happen! It's part of the fun.

I Tried to Leave You

Leonard Cohen. Another fine Canadian artist. I tried finding one of his that I liked awhile back, to respond to this. I don't know the name and I cannot even begin to describe it. I have this foggy memory of a sound I can't seem to put my finger on.

Well, then, maybe this matches your situation better anyway. Just come right out and admit defeat as your opening gambit:

I Can't Quit You Baby

You know what though? If I truly wanted to quit, I'd leave in a blaze of glory, call you all horses, then play this one.

If you called me a horse - I would stamp my feet and pout.

Nice song. Hadn't heard it before.

First time I heard it, I was nearly traumatized for life. If you combine that song name along with Jay and Silent Bob into google. You too will feel my pain. I do like the song though.

Dude!! This is the first post I come to and for a second I was like "You fucking kidding me?" And was about to slam the laptop shut LOL

Yeah, I don't make New Year's resolutions. I decided a long time ago if there was something that I needed to change I wasn't going to wait for January 1st to do it.
Glad this was a spoof.

LOL!! Look at how many natural emotions I'm able to create with my magic, some days. This was that classic me joke. Leading you all down the rabbit hole while you get to slowly watch things fall apart, then BOOM, I hit you with a funny.

I'd never be able to pull something like this off without advanced knowledge about how frickin' amazing my friends and fan base truly are.

Cheers to another year!

Finito .... and just as I start to follow you. That's just grea, just great.... (I read the entire post several times)

Always read the fine print!

My eyes are gone. I can no longer read the fine print. And I have to read the Large print many times before I get the jokes.

Glad to see you're not really leaving. I was a bit worried after reading your posts about being frustrated with the vote buying.

I'm glad you've decided (voluntarily or not) to stay. Steemit needs real people making real content in order to succeed and grow. Otherwise it will just be a bunch of bots posting crap and a bunch of clickfarmers commenting "me too pls upvote for support".

I stopped making new years' resolutions years ago (well, only 2 years ago). I just make resolutions now. Decisions to be better shouldn't wait until a new year. Not only is it "just a day", you have a bunch of enablers lined up for when you inevitably fail. "It's okay", they'll say, "we can all be failures together!" Blech!

The whole thing was just a joke. It's not the first time I've pulled this prank either. It wasn't even inspired by the events that took place. I had this planned long ago. I have a place where I store ideas. These ideas are always popping up in my mind, so I write down just a quick one liner. When I need to write and can't think of something on the spot, I go to that list and build from these little bits of madness I hold onto.

I already vanished in the past from this place. I won't be upsetting these people like that again. If I ever have to leave I'm taking care of that professionally. I won't just up and quit. Even when I left, I knew I was coming back. I just didn't know when. A lot of my life goes into this blog. Sometimes there's not enough life in a day.

I don't make new year's resolutions either. My goals are set. Yeah, sure, there's a lot of stuff I should be doing. I'll do it when the time is right. No point in forcing it. That's why they fail.

“Steemit, I wish I knew how to quit you”

Apparently it's really hard to quit this place. I've seen so many do what they were calling "Steemicide", then returning like it didn't happen. Which is cool! Funny too. Still cool!

I know a couple of the people who "rage quit" that, no, to me anyway, it is not cool nor funny that they are back. It is much closer to being annoying - but I don't have enough respect for them to suffer annoyance. The most I can come up with is contempt. Oh, well. They have been on my ignore list since their triumphant returns.
.

Yes. There are some people, I know. Some days I wonder why we can't vote people off of the platform, responsibly, like they do on some reality TV shows.

Ah yes! The Steemit addict that goes to the 12 step program to kick the habit only to got back on it. My name is Troy. I am a Steemit addict. Well hello Troy. One of those damn 12 step rooms. At least you do not get cancer from it. Only cataracts if you stare at the screen to much. Happy New Year!

Hi Troy!

They sure like to get excited in those meetings. As for the cataracts, I try to blink in between blinks.

Happy new year!

OMG you make me worry sometimes...you wouldn't dare leave us again! I will not survive a third disappearance.....not again no...see! Now you made me drink again...

Ha! Gotcha! Happy New Year prank!

Have one of those drinks for me. Seriously though. You knew it was a joke. You just weren't sure! Magic.

xD , the tag "self-deception" is hilarious, don't know why that tag made me laugh so much!

Self-deprecation. I wanted to make it clear this time that I'm joking in a certain way. This one is so hard to pull off in writing. I'm glad you got a chuckle here!

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