You'll never change! Unless...

Unless you're an awful freak, you've probably noticed that making lasting, positive changes to your life is bloody difficult. Try to start reading a becoming book after supper instead of binging some drivel on Netflix, and within a fortnight you'll be watching The Office again. I once started a week with a proclamation that I would go on a no gluten and no sugar diet, I ended that week by gorging on a dozen Krispy Kremes!
My family owns a horse farm as an animal loving child I fell in love with horses and riding. We own a horse breeding operation, which means, we have a perpetual stream of young, wild, untrained horses in need of education. Supply and demand necessitated that I take up training, and I did.
Not so long ago, I became exposed to some of the recent literature about habit formation and realised that for years I have been training horses by merely inducing them to form new habits. Though I liked to think differently, I was not casting spells or horse whispering, I was simply utilising very basic habit creation techniques. I was unwitting, making use of the habit formation loop; habits 101. I would give the horses a trigger (a command), they would react in a way approximating the outcome I desired, then I would give them a horse cookie; a reward. Do this a few hundred times and your horse has a new habit. This is so simple yet I had never tried this on myself. Yet, I knew I was a collection of bad habits. Knew I couldn't just will myself to change. At least not for a meaningful amount of time.
Let's take training (Human training; going to the gym type of training) as an example of how one might instantiate a new habit. A few years ago, when I began to experiment with habit formation, I turned to fitness to launch my journey. I figured what better habit to form than one that makes me healthier and look better. So I started working out.
How do you make a habit of going to the gym? Sounds obvious, you just bloody well go! Well, that's a good first step but is it good enough? For most people just doing it over and over isn't enough. Going to the gym after all is a pretty uncomfortable activity and enthusiasm can only take you so far. After that first initial burst of action, you get from making some grandiose proclamation how long before your vigour peters out? Probably a handful of weeks and some excuse or other to break your routine. After that, naturally slid back into old habits, because habits once formed never leave, they can only be altered.
The fact of the matter is that you never had a "going to the gym habit" you had a routine. Routines are great but can easily fall apart, whereas habits are more automatic, they are what you do on autopilot, they are your default. So how do you make yourself both the horse and the trainer? How do you turn yourself into a person with a working out habit? Well, like the horse you'll need a trigger, an action and a cookie ( a reward).
Let's start with an example of a trigger. It's far easier to use an existing habit as a trigger than creating a new one as that would necessitate forming a new habit to catapult you to your desired new habit. So, to begin with, keep it simple. Something I do that I think most people do (even though they might not admit to it) is look in the mirror, examine themselves and the shape of their body, taking stock. In my mind, this is a simple and obvious trigger. "Would I look better If I spotted less excess fatty flesh about my torso? Would I feel better If my muscles were bigger, stronger, more defined?"
-Be the horse and the trainer!
Ok, so you've looked in the mirror and decided that you could make some positive alteration to you physic, what now? Ok well, this is the easy part. In our case, it's going to the gym and picking up heavy things and putting them down a few times a week. This is the habit we are endeavouring to create for ourselves, the action part. Easy. Simple. Done. Next!
The last part of the habit formation loop is the part most people leave out. It's the fun part, the cookie part. It's the part that dictates to your brain whether or not it likes the activity. Will it give this activity the thumbs up by mapping a positive association in your subconscious, or, will it toss this activity on the steaming heap of things it finds unpleasant? Now just like the horse needs a cookie, a pat, or a nice break, so too does the brain that you are trying to tame. You need to give your brain that rush of dopamine that will trick it into thinking that sweating and stressing your muscles is a great thing. At this point, it could be anything. We all eat, so maybe right after working out you could gift yourself your favourite treat; perhaps a steak or a chocolate eclair. I liked video games so I would allow myself to play without guilt for an hour after my workout. It was great. Find something you like, something fun. Preferably this ought to be something healthy, not smoking some crack or downing a mickey. But hey, you do you.
A large portion of the actions we make daily is a result of habits we did not choose. Many of these are harmless but not designed with any purpose. They won't propel you forward. Excitement and enthusiasm for change are rarely enough to keep you going on your desired path and will usually desert you when you hit a bump. Habits, on the other hand, are what you naturally fall back on when things do get tough. They are the things you need to exert your will upon to merely pause. Imagine if most of your habits were chosen? What if instead of chips and tv being your happy place in the evening it was painting or reading some great literature? What if productivity became fun and automatic? Is it possible that successful people are simply people with good habits? Like it or not habits have a major influence over your life. The good news is that you can choose your habits.