THE POWER OF 'I AM SORRY'
Most often than not, people perceive an apology as a sign of weakness or rather unfortunately, as an admission of guilt. But is that really the case? Or should that be the case? We are humans and it's in our nature to err. Every now and then, we may go against our friends, our family, coworkers or sometimes, people we don't even know. Occasionally, we may even do wrong to our own selves. For those of us who are religious, we will agree that man is a sinner and the Almighty God/Allah is ever ready to forgive us for our countless atrocities and short comings.
Personally, I do not believe that humans are chaotic by nature. We are instinctively good, peaceful and loving creatures and are more than capable of living together in harmony. Of course, we are not a 100% good and everyone has a darker side of themselves. That will explain the slave trade, the civil wars, the cold wars and ultimately, the world wars. There are those among us who easily succumb to their dark side and allow greed and selfishness to obscure the light within them. That's is why we need to be each others keeper. From where I come, there's a common saying that a person who is busily creating a footpath is unable to tell if it's straight or crooked. Sometimes, it takes an observer to point this out. This saying tries to explain that most of the time, one is unable to see their own mistakes.
You would be surprised that about 90% of the conflicts we encounter daily could have been averted with a simple 'I am sorry'. Apologizing does not make you weak, in fact, if it makes you anything at all, it makes you a bigger man/woman. Sometimes, we should chose to apologize for the sake of peace even if we feel we are right. And if we know we are not, then we just need to shove our ego aside and do the honorable thing. In this case, we should not apologize for the sake of it. Three things are important here:
- We should see and admit that we are wrong.
- We should regret this action and have no intentions of ever repeating them.
- We should sincerely be sorry and mean the apology when we deliver it.
It's important to note that a successful apology is not a one side affair. When we realize that someone is making efforts to keep the peace between us and them, we shouldn't make it more difficult than it already is. That is where forgiveness comes in. We should be ready to leave the past where it belongs. There are those who will make a mistake a 100 times and apologize a 100 times as well. For those ones, forgive them but never forget who they are. Protect yourself and do not put yourself in a position to be hurt over and over again.
Always remember, it's the bigger man/woman who says 'I am sorry'.
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But I do hope every human finds the heart to admit guilt and say he/she is sorry. It is a great write up worth emulating.