Marriage Scares Me – Here’s Why

I’m a 42 year old guy who’s never been married and I don’t have any kids. Funny thing is, when I was younger I really wanted to get married and have a family of my own. That was then. I’m older and wiser now, and the thought of getting married sends shivers down my spine. I’m now to the point where I seriously doubt I will ever marry. I kind of like my freedom, I guess. But there’s more to the story than that. There are some things about marriage that really spook me. 

1. Most of My Married Friends are Miserable

Marriage is supposed to be about finding that special someone who completes us, who makes us feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside all the time. Someone to be a life companion and best friend. 

Most of my married friends hate being married. They are miserable. Their wives try to control their lives and won’t let them have any fun outside of spending time with them. 

One of my friends is practically a slave to his wife. Seriously. They both work, but for some reason he is expected to do all of the housework (which he does) while she goes to her social engagements. 

Another friend’s wife had an affair on him with her boss (whom she eventually married after leaving my friend). The day she moved out my buddy called me and asked me to be there for him. I dutifully went to his apartment and stayed with him while she cleaned him out (she took nearly everything). It was one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen. He just sat on the floor and stared at a wall while she went on like it was the most normal thing in the world. 

All of my married friends have had marital issues at some point, and it makes me question whether it’s all worth it. 

2. Weddings (and Engagement Rings) Are Crazy-Expensive

Weddings cost a crap-ton of money. Most guys don’t seem to care one iota about having a big, fancy wedding. We just want the end result – being married. The lavish wedding is for the bride. Young girls dream for years about the big, amazing wedding they will someday have. 

And have you priced engagement rings lately? Thousands of dollars. 

“Nuts,” I say. 

The whole engagement ring thing is a giant scam invented by the diamond cartels to sell more diamonds. And many of those diamonds were harvested on the backs of slave labor (or grossly underpaid labor). Ever watch the movie, Blood Diamond? You should check it out.

But here’s the thing… Just try asking a girl to marry you without offering her a big diamond engagement ring. See how that works out for you. Despite the exuberant cost and the whole blood diamond thing, girls really do expect a big shiny rock to show off to their friends. 

*sigh*

3. Kids are Expensive, too. And Time Consuming

I suppose if I had a kid that I would love him or her. But I’m thanking my lucky stars that I don’t. They cost too much. And they take up way too much of a person’s time, too. 

I just read that the cost to raise a child is somewhere between $200,000 and $500,000. And that’s just for one kid. What about people who have two or more kids? You have to feed them, clothe them, buy them X-Boxes and iPads. Oh, and have you priced braces lately? $6k - $8k easily.

Kids require way too much time and attention for my comfort, too. For the first several years of their lives you pretty much have to do everything for them including bathing them, putting them to sleep, playing with them, and on and on. 

No thanks. Not for me. 

I like being able to do whatever I want, anytime I want. No commitments. 

4. Divorce is Terrifying

Just about half of all first marriages end in divorce. Just think about that for a minute. 

The thought of going through a divorce – of literally having my life ripped apart – scares the crap out of me. 

It’s bad enough that you have to go through an emotional nightmare when the girl you love cheats on you and has an affair with someone she works with, but then there’s the financial mess you have to deal with. Your ex-wife is entitled to half of all of your marital assets. Even if she never worked one single day while you were married. Even if the cause of the divorce was all her fault. 

And to make matters worse, In the United States divorce laws heavily favor women. The ex-wife almost always gets awarded custody of the children. It’s actually rare for the man to get the kids. After divorcing, fathers rarely get to see their kids. That’s just not right.

5. Loss of Power and Freedom

I’m a little territorial. I like some things a certain way. It’s my mess. I know that if I get married, then I will have to get used to doing things her way. And I don’t like that.  

Why should I have to wash my bed sheets more than once a year? Why should I have to replace the blanket hanging over my window with actual curtains? And what the heck is a clothes hamper, and when did I get one? The pile of clothes on the floor works for me just fine, thanks. 

I don’t like the idea of living under house rules. But I know that such rules are typically a part of married life. 

I think I’ll just stay single.