Every now and then I have to re-meet myself

in #life6 years ago

My presence has again been hit and miss here. I want to be writing in this space, connecting, commenting. This is such a wonderful community. I have been able to create and share poetry a bit at a time. I use poetry to process feelings I can't find obvious words for. It's a release.

What I'm saying is I'm having a lot of feelings for which I have no clear or easy words. They are mostly good. Very good. But there is confusion. And there is also the fact I haven't been able to afford a prescription for my ADHD that truly helps. What I have now is affordable, but smashes through my system hard and fast because the extended release version is too costly.
As a result I am alternately physically exhausted or bouncing anxiously out of my skin, albeit able to complete some tasks.

In the last few days I've had to say no in ways I never thought I could or would have the need, have felt my heart grow in its ability to love and understand, been deeply disappointed by broken trust, supported my children through serious emotional pain, and have been healing from whiplash.

I need a vacation.

I need some time to just be me, whoever she is. It's a bit up in the air right now, except it's not. I'm meeting myself again after thinking I knew who I am. And I am dreaming again. Last night's was a joyful dream of revealing my truth to a family member and being accepted. Being loved.

I guess you could say I am in flux. And it's hard. But it's okay. Day by day.

What's happening in your life?

image from pixabay.com

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I suppose we are constantly meeting ourselves because we are ever evolving. Big hugs hon xxx

True. It's a rewarding process even when it's a deep challenge. Big hugs back to you. <3

MWAH!!!!! XOXOXOXOXO

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