Self-Care When Kids Have Their Crises
Earlier today I had to tell one of my kids no. It didn’t go well. The result was me being locked out of the house while Kiddo slammed around inside. We had a text exchange as this was going on that had me laughing riotously. Despite that I was locked outside, in need of a shower and pretty righteously irritated with my tantruming child.
Basically, my kid was texting me that I needed to apologize for giving consequences.
Nope. Not happening. My mom always said, “You do the crime, you do the time.” That was the case today. Instead of quietly raging against the machine (me), kiddo went full on grump fest. You have your own room. Go be mad in there! Or in the 4 acres of woods we got you. Sheesh!
Anyway, back to this text exchange. Kiddo was seriously pissed off that video games were a no-go. There were threats of booby-trapping the doors. I read them with calm bemusement, laughing at the most ridiculous while taking a critical eye to the writing itself. Turns out my kiddo has a great ear for sentences and intensity when texting. I focused on that and felt impressed.
My other option was to freak the fuck out. Stomping, slamming and shouting are all huge PTSD triggers for me. I was walking the line, but laughter kept me on the safe side of things. So laugh I did.
But quietly. Taking care of myself shouldn’t harm my children. I didn’t want to embarrass Kiddo. My goal was to stay cool.
It has taken me a long time to be able to find the humor in these outbursts. It is an excellent self-care technique when my kids have their crises.
Excellent ... parenting is a challenge you never truly understand until you are a parent. You handled it well. I suppose I would have remained calm because he offered me a challenge. I then would have given him a choice. For example ... here are your choices ... you can let me in and only lose one additional day of screen of time. Or I will have to call a locksmith and you will lose a month's worth of screen time and pay for the locksmith. Give him a minute or two to think about it and then go ahead with option number two.
I assume you got in the house ... how so?
Oh my word I don't think I would of been laughing. Knowing me I would of probably freaked out. Good for you on staying calm in the situation and staying in control. Kids really know how to push buttons. Mine has this annoying habit lately of asking me for something and then saying it over and over again until I get it for her. Really irritates me. I'm trying to use it as an opportunity to teach her patience. That's if I can keep my cool long enough haha.
My warped sense of humor helped me to survive the last three years of my marriage, with my well-being intact, despite the dire predictions of those around me.
Like you, I did my best not to laugh out loud, as I wasn't out to trash his ego, but some of the situations were patently ridiculous, and somtimes it was all I could do not to bust out laughing!
My warped sense of humor helped me to survive the last three years of my marriage, with my well-being intact, despite the dire predictions of those around me.
Like you, I did my best not to laugh out loud, as I wasn't out to trash his ego, but some of the situations were patently ridiculous, and somtimes it was all I could do not to bust out laughing!
Thank God for my sense of humor, and for my family and friends for helping to develop it within me. That time would have been much darker otherwise.