One thing you never try in life

I will be the first person to tell anybody that a cigarette is about the most enjoyable goddamn thing on God’s green earth. They go wonderfully with coffee, they go great with beer, after a meal, when you’ve just had sex, when you’re stressed, when you’re having a serious conversation, when you’re catching up with friends, when you’ve just got off work — short of being in such an oxygen rich environment that lighting a cigarette would cause you to explode — cigarettes are absolutely, positively, amazing.

Without a cigarette, Camus would’ve been half as cool.

But that pleasure comes at a price.

The first cost is obviously monetary. I live in Georgia, and cigarettes are roughly 4–7 bucks a pack, depending on the brand. In New York, the tax for cigarettes is 4.35% which means you will be paying a hefty price for smokes if you live in the Big Apple.

No thank you.

Once you start getting in the regular habit of smoking, your day begins to revolve around your smoking regiment. You’ll have one after breakfast, lunch, two on break at work, two when you get home, one after your shower, one before bed. You’ll follow a surprisingly specific smoking schedule the more you do it. If you hang around with other smokers, you’ll end up having an overlap. If my mother smokes, I go with her and have a cigarette 95% of the time. If I’m doing research, reading, or writing, I have to have a cigarette. Cigarettes cost you time because they impose a strange sense of order on your life. If/when you decide to quit, the lack of routine is one of the greatest challenges to overcome.

I’m 22 years old, and I’ve smoked off and on for about five years. At my worst, I can eat through a pack a day. If I restrain myself, I can limit it to maybe about four a day. That being said, I’ve already had distressing health symptoms. Recently, I went to the doctor due to asthma-like symptoms. These symptoms were caused by a combination of smoking and allergies, and I had to get a steroid shot in my ass, and take an albuterol treatment just to feel alright. I can tell you personally that nothing is shittier than wheezing and tightness in your chest. Those symptoms can become so uncomfortable that you won’t be able to sleep at night. Some people can have such severe asthma symptoms that they end up in the hospital, or worse, and smoking can agitate those symptoms. The most insidious part of smoking is that you know that it’s blowing your lungs out, but you will end up ignoring your symptoms 95% of the time because you love smoking so much. Bottom line, cigarettes, in very short order, will cost you your health.

Every time I’ve tried to quit, stress has been the trigger to bring me right back to mama. When day-to-day stress start piling up, and my brain is nicotine starved, I can feel my temples throb, and I can feel the dopamine in my brain pressing against the floodgates of my neurons — waiting for that lovely shot of nicotine to open them. I’ve resisted that urge before, but once you give in, it’s hard to get back on track. Cigarettes rob you of your will, and your effort.

Let me reiterate, cigarettes are absolutely amazing. They are without a doubt one of the most enjoyable things that one could consume, but they will turn you into a hacking, wheezing, automaton. It’s not a price worth paying. Don’t smoke.