For years my weekend was my "actual work" time, because I rarely had time to write during the week. I rarely gave myself a free day, and it's resulted that oftentimes when I force myself to have a lazy day I find myself twitchy and nervous.

I have to remind myself that we relax so that we can continue to work, and that relaxation is an important process, integral to our entire systems. (Google Default Mode Network if you're curious)

I try to give myself at least 1 day off a week now.

I'm glad that you found something in the stillness. I wish we could all have those revelations.