Precisely why I avoid looking at mirrors. The conversations with that handsome man looking back at me are to intense to navigate and be able to functionally adapt to an ever changing version of self. I applaud you on your efforts diving in to your inner workings, don't get lost in the rabbit hole but realize your velveteen nature. I'm real, I'm real. Woo-hoo I find my self but look again. Oh brother, will it ever end? I hope you are remembering to laugh.