A Case Against Serial Online Dating
" Internet dating has made people more disposable. "
― Dan Slater, A Million First Dates: Solving the Puzzle of Online Dating
The online dating market is nothing short of a toxic minefield. Very few things of value come out of the online dating scene. All the tinders of the world are based on the shitty premise that you may just be “one swipe away” from finding your perfect match.
In addition to that, the criteria on which prospective partners evaluate each other are skewed af. Physical appearance is the central metric people use to choose their potential targets. Could that get any more superficial? This isn’t to say that attraction does not matter - but when it’s the only “thing” you look out for, you’re sliding on a slippery slope.
Truth be told, it takes more than 6 inches to reach someone’s heart. Instead of sugar coating and buttering up their 200-character description of themselves, people should put upfront important matters regarding who they are. Your movie preferences doesn’t say much about the kind of partner you are - but your attachment style can surely tell more about that. How about your value system? Your emotional intelligence? Aren’t these things more important than knowing if your future match likes Chinese food too?
Nothing good ever came out of forcing stuff to happen. Yet I find that shopping for potential candidates online reinforces our habit of seeking instant gratification. So many opportunities are unfolding every single day in the offline world. Maybe if instead of compulsively texting, we’d take the time to live with presence and awareness, we’d get to meet other humans like us.
We’ve lost sight of the true value of commitment because all the plentyoffishes- tinders- okcupids of this world offer us a catalogue of limitless options.
It’s never been easier to get caught up in the search for the next best thing because heck - the supply to find that next best thing is infinite. We’re the throwaway society because everything around us invites us to ditch the old to get the new. Why repair when you can get a new pair?
How can one know if he made the right choice? Saying yes to one person and discarding all the other enticing options is one risky bet, isn’t? Winning the lottery is fun - but the truth is that there’s way more value that comes out of having worked for your fortune. Instead of being on our radar to pick the best bet, we should work towards being the best version we can be ourselves.
"Physical appearance is the central metric people use to choose their potential targets."
What about money? I mean, you want the targets to pay for themselves, don't you? After all, what would hitting the bullseye actually mean otherwise? Let's get serial about our serial online dating.
HAHA! Love that last sentence! That’s so true! I didn’t put it in there bc people typically don’t display how rich (or broke) they are in their bio, but you make a good point! Money and looks run the show:P
Does Money Buy Happiness?
Never;)
It can't and never will take away one's feeling of emptiness or fill the void within;)
However I'm pretty sure @twiceuponatime can;)
I think everything can be made toxic by toxic people but the underlying tool itself isn't by definition toxic. Yes, online dating has become a cesspool of instant gratification but there are success stories of people meeting one another online in various ways and falling in love.
I remember there was this epic one where a German footballer Lucas Podolski posted a pic on his Facebook and two people met in the comments of his post and 2 years later were married. He was from Germany and she was from Brazil, if im not mistaken. Then they wrote to him about it and he posted it on his social media, what a crazy story. Yes I know its anecdotal and yes it's probably nowhere near the norm but there's a silver lining we have to hope is worth saving.
I think everything new is first abused before it finds a natural equilibrium eventually. I think that these tools aren't in poor taste but are merely a true reflection of the real issue which is people have lost their sense of purpose and now derive value from consumption and finding that in the wrong things like dating, alcohol, drugs, online platforms etc.
Great post as always and thought-provoking !BEER 1 !ENGAGE 10
1 !BEER Token for you
To view or trade
BEERgo to steem-engine.com.Hey @steemityourway, here is your
Do you already know our [BEER Crowdfunding](https://steemit.com/cryptocurrency/@beerlover/let-s-grow-and-update-the-beer-token-huge-crowndfunding-as-crowdsale)BEERtoken. Enjoy it!Sorry, you don't have enough BEER in your account. You need 10 BEER in your virtual fridge to give some of your BEER to others. To view or trade BEER go to steem-engine.com