Reflections On Loving -Part 9: Heal Your Heart

"All healing is first a healing of the heart." - Carl Townsend

Healing is a process. And just like any process, it requires time, patience and courage.
We are by nature social creatures, and one can not go through life completely alone.
We need one another, especially in times of great emotional distress.
However, as much as we need others to help us along our healing journey, the genuine healing will always come down to us, and ourselves only in the end.
Others can help us, guide us, stand by us, but just like no one can think or feel for us, no one can heal for us.
While we can hold each other’s hands while sitting in the darkness, we, alone, have the power to heal.

Healing our heart is a crucial process to embark before taking the decision to love someone else’s heart.
Romantic relationships are like no other relationship in all that they entail, and in all that they allow us to share and express from ourselves.
They are the most beautiful hardest thing.
While each human being comes with strengths as well as shortcomings, the wounds we carry in our heart should not be put aside.
There is an urgency to bring them to our consciousness in order to go to the root of the pain.

We all carry wounds within ourselves.
Some are bigger than others.
Some have healed, others have not.
But it is a shame to spend our whole lives in denial or unaware of them.
Because when that is the case, we keep on bringing these wounds alive throughout different life situations, and not only do we hurt ourselves by doing so, but we hurt others as well.

In times of tragedy, I used to feel that the loss left me with a huge hole in my heart.
Having been given an extremely sensitive body and even more so heart, I couldn’t help but hate every second of it.
Until I made the decision to love the hole in my heart, with more love than the space it took.
I think it is so important to accept our pain, but also to express it.
To never let it sit there inside of us, without doing anything.
Whether our way of expressing it is done through writing, journaling, speaking, crying, we need to absolutely let it all out.
We need to talk about the pain.
And while you technically can’t fully repair a hole in someone’s heart, you can learn to live with the scar it left.
That is what I am committed to doing for the rest of my life journey, as I have understood that while some of my wounds have healed, the scars will always remain.
And as much as it was very difficult to accept, that is how life goes.

It is essential to heal our own inner child before loving someone else fully.
We all have emotional wounds and needs that our inner child has not met during our own childhood. Some bigger than others. The problem is that more than 90% of the things we do on a daily basis come from our autopilot mode. And that includes the way our inner child chooses to act out. We need to bring to our awareness our wounds.
The patterns we allow ourselves to fall into.
The ways by which we sabotage ourselves.
They sleep inside our subconscious mind.
We need to wake them up 😉

The last step in healing our heart and our broken inner child is to give ourselves all of which we have not received as children.
We can not find what we have not been given through others.
And as much as we would like them to fill the void inside of our heart, we can’t.
No outside person or source can fill that void or that wound, but only ourselves.

And I can’t tell you how much of a life changer it is once you realize that…. 💓