EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL - Identifying The Subtle Forms and What You Can Do

The act of using a person's feelings of kindness, sympathy or duty in order to persuade them to do something or feel something
When people in your life use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to manipulate you

Because this is a very subtle form of abuse, much attention is not paid to it. Often times, when we see emotional blackmail, we don’t even recognize it for what it is.
Because we want to stay in a relationship, or because we want friendship to continue, when it happens, we just make excuses like, that’s just the way he/she is.

I’m going to talk about emotional blackmail in two aspects

1. When someone tries to make you feel something
2. When someone wants you to do something (usually followed by a threat)

INDUCED TO FEEL:

People who employ this form of blackmail have used this on many occasions and know how effective it is, so they just use it as often as they can. Surprisingly, some people try to blackmail others and don’t even know the implication of what they’re doing.
When people try to get you to feel something, they often hinge the whole relationship on one thing, something that is nothing compared to what you have with the person.
Check out scenarios like this:

"Look what you made me do!"
“I thought we were friends, you didn’t invite me for your party/wedding”
“If you love me you will buy me…”
“You are the only friend I can ask for this loan”
“If I mean anything to you, you will come and visit me”
“So your boss, work, friend… is more important than me?”
“You’re just making your money and enjoying it alone, no problem”

In either of these scenarios, you’re supposed to feel guilty and start apologizing or just give in to what the person wants.

There’s another word for it – emotional immaturity!
What is not coming to pay you a visit, compared to the love she has shown you for over a year?
Because he didn’t return your call, he doesn’t love you anymore?
Come On! These are not even issues compared to the history of the friendship

Although an emotional blackmailer wants control over their victim, they often have little control over themselves. They may be feeling insecure and desperate inside, but some growing up is definitely needed.

INDUCED TO ACT:

Here the Blackmailer usually demands something the victim does not want to give, something the victim views as unreasonable and something the blackmailer believes they can get – if they apply enough pressure.
This aspect usually comes with a threat to either damaging something the victim cares about (example, reputation) or even hanging the whole relationship on the victim’s response. Some people even threaten to hurt themselves to pressure a victim into giving in.

WHEN YOU’RE A VICTIM:

People who fall victim to this subtle form of blackmail are “peace seekers”. They are usually willing to sacrifice the things they hold sacred or dear, goals, boundaries just for peace to reign.

They feel compassion or pity on the blackmailer and are willing break boundaries for them. Victims may even have low self-esteem and may be afraid to stand up for themselves.

Sometimes, victims find themselves to feeling powerless or trapped because each time they give in, they suffer a loss of their own self-esteem among other things.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

DO NOT allow yourself to be blamed for somebody else’s bad behaviors or poor choices.

Remember that giving in won’t make the relationship better, it only creates a basis for more blackmail in the future.
No one who truly loves you or respects you will threaten you to do something against your wishes.

Work on your self-esteem and defend your boundaries
Walk away or cut ties if it gets really bad.

As an afterthought, I decided to add a little giveaway.

How To Participate:

Comment on this post with a common statement/question people make to try to make you feel guilty, then make a funny reply to the statement/question .
Everyone gets something
Most hilarious reply gets the highest reward