Social Lens #4: A Day at the Cemetery
What is our relationship with the dead?
Today I decided to walk to a cemetery and have a look around. It's not often that we go there. Normally, only if we have lost someone and want to get closer to that person again -- both physically and psychologically. Of course, the person has died, but there are still some physical artifacts left behind: normally there is a grave stone, some flowers and perhaps a candle or even a picture of the deceased one. When we see and touch these things, we feel closer to that person. It is this physical relationship that can also reinforce or change our psychological relationship with that person. But of course this relationship is only one-sided. And therefore we could ask, does a relationship really exist if there is only one end?
The cemetery was wonderful to walk in. The weather was fresh and sunny, and I could see the carefully placed flowers and plants that were put on the graves by the families. Here in Germany, fortunately, cemeteries are usually a nice place to walk through.
I could see all of the different names and dates of the people. Many of them died a couple of decades ago, but others died rather quite recently. There were even some gravestones which signified a much older date. I could see that some of them were from the 19th century!
When I see gravestones like this one, I am reminded how ephemeral our time on earth really is. Over a century has passed since this person died, and nearly two since he was born. I wonder if there are still relatives that visit their ancestor? It seems only natural that such a stone is not really tended by the family any longer. The stone might reveal a link to the past, but even a link out of stone shows cracks after only some centuries.
This observation might provoke questions such as: How long do we remember people when they die? How long do we keep a relationship with them? And also, why do we bother ourselves with things that don't really matter in the bigger perspective?
Perhaps we can have a relationship with the dead, because as humans we reflect on our thoughts. Our thoughts constantly change, re-emerge and transform themselves into other lines of thought. And it is probably this kind of relationship that first helps people who might have lost someone they loved. However, ultimately we have to acknowledge that this kind of relationship will come to an end -- at the latest when we ourselves cease to be.
This series is called #SocialLens: Social, because I am interested in everything related to humanity, how people live and act, what we do consciously and unconsciously, how we effect the world around us and treat one another. Lens in this context refers to the lens of the camera I will be using to take the pictures of what I am seeing (that at least is pretty obvious...), but it also refers to my viewpoint - everything I watch and see is observed through my eyes. There isn't really a way around that of course, and as long as one is aware of that it shouldn't be much of a problem. After all, life is experienced individually and every point of view can add to the greater whole.
Social Lens #3
Social Lens #2
Social Lens #1
