The Day I Stopped Being Diffident
The year was 2010 & I was about to cross a fraternity.
Felt like a big day.
We were about to have a probate in front of 300 plus people.
I was excited, but hella nervous as well.
If you don't know what a probate is, it's basically when they unmask the new members of the fraternity in front of Greek life & other members of the school.
This is when people come to the event to see which new brothers crossed.
The crowd was hyped.
We did our skits & put on a show.
Now was the time for unmasking.
Each brother in the line got unmasked, did something entertaining & gave a speech.
For me, getting unmasked wasn't a problem.
The problem was I had no clue what to say.
Well after the 6th person had gone up, I was up next.
I got on center stage & my big brother from the fraternity was giving me an intro.
'I had the pleasure of serving as this guy's big insert speech. In the land of King Cobras we know him as brother Gear. But you all know him as Trilston Chowdhury!!!'
The crowd went hype.
The mask was off & I had 300 plus people looking at me awaiting a comment.
'Yeaa!! Thanks guys, I'm lucky number slevin & I am brother Gear!!'
And that was it....
That was my speech.
I was a little disappointed in myself.
Thought I could have mustered up more words, but nah. That 1 sentence & we moved to number 8 from our line.
The next few months, I had officially become a brother in the fraternity.
I thought crossing a fraternity meant partying, hooking up with girls & chilling.
And trust me... there was a lot of that.
But it also required work.
The new brothers who crossed were required to prove themselves.
We all had to prove that we belonged.
There were brothers from my line moving up real quick!
Had one brother who masterminded a new event.
Another brother who became recruitment chair.
And another brother who was becoming internal vice president of the entire Greek organization.
My line was doing some big things!
But there was a problem.
As everyone in my line was moving up, I remained stagnant.
I wasn't lazy or anything, but I was being viewed that way.
Whenever we would meet up weekly for chapter, I was the only guy from my line who wouldn't say anything.
Your boy was too shy.
I was starting to build the rep as the lazy guy who only wanted to party all the time.
Even though I had a lot of ideas to grow the fraternity, I was unable to.
My shy nature was holding me back.
A few months in, I remember a bunch of the fraternity bros were chilling in Popeyes.
We were all eating & talking about a new event that we were thinking about throwing.
Everyone was talking about how they were going to contribute.
By the time it came to me, one of the guys blurts out:
'This isn't a party! Trilston ain't going to do any work.'
I was pissed.
Dude blasted me, but everyone also agreed.
The fact that they all agreed & no one had my back made me angrier.
At that point, I realized it was time for a change.
For years & years in my life, I had been the shy guy.
So I knew I needed to do something to change that.
Around the time, I had a friend in Universal Hustle Affiliato & he was now a public speaking wizard.
Better part? He used to be shy too.
If he could do it, then so could I.
I decided I was no longer going to be shy.
Key word: DECIDED.
That's all it takes for you to begin your journey.
I'm sure many of you reading this are shy.
You want to say something, but second guess yourself to a point where you don't say anything.
And this leads you to not say much in future interactions.
And in return, you become more shy.
But you need to decide that you aren't going to be shy anymore.
Often, that decision will be born thru pain.
You'll lose an opportunity, you'll get mocked by someone, you may get interrupted ... who knows.
But the decision allows your brain to go from:
I think I will do it -> I will do it.
When you get your brain to reconfigure with such strong intent, it has no choice but to commit to the process.
When you commit to the process, your brain thinks of new creative situations for the context of your life.
My creative solution was public speaking.
Without being shy for so many years, I don't know if I would have ever done public speaking to be honest.
But my decision & commitment led me to this path.
I don't know the context of your life, so I can't give you your creative solution.
Only your brain can.
But you NEED to stop pussyfooting.
Shyness doesn't go away on its own.
It requires work, consistency & perseverance.
But when you overcome shyness, you come out a new person.
Now you have the perspective of a shy person, but you have the behavioral flexibility of a charismatic person.
Throughout my journey in public speaking, I would say a majority of public speakers were shy when they began.
No lie.
But it's a game of turning your biggest weakness into your biggest strength.
No one would guess I was shy before because nowadays I give talks to hundreds of people and teach 1000s around the world on how to improve public speaking.
But I was shy, for many years.
I fixed it.
So can you.
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