My Baby Was Born September 25th of 2018!!! Part #4

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_{continuing with the series of posts I’m doing to celebrate and share with all of you this amazingly crazy, wonderful and sometimes awfully gross experience. The previous post of the series you can find them here}

• Part #1
• Part #2
• Part #3

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The Pain Is Real

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_{Turns out this position is not helpful for nursing}

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Like I said in the previous post the anesthetic was gone and the pain was settling in, my boyfriend had to go to purchased a pain killer so that they could put it in my IV and help me deal with the awful sensation of the contractions and the gasses, I was unable to move for 6h to give chance to my body to recover from the anesthetics and to give time for the wound to close a little more, but the doctor told my boyfriend he needed to help me sit and then stand in order for me to start healing properly, you’ll see the gasses are the worst and they thing causes more pain so in order to get rid of them you need to walk.

There I was lying on my back holding my new born who was asleep and thinking about the fact I needed to sit, I couldn’t move an inch without feeling pain and I was supposed to sit, that was going to be fun!

My boyfriend god bless him, was amazing he was so understanding and didn’t pressure me to do anything, he treated me with so much care and tenderness I will forever be gratefull for that, also it made me love him so much more.

He held me like a hug and put up with my weight in order for me not to do any heavy lifting of my body, and then I was sited! That was easy and didn’t hurt me as much as I thought it would, but then I was face with the fact I was to get out of the bed and stand and then walk a few steps, yeah that seem to be like an impossible thing to do in my state, but for my baby and with the support of my boyfriend I feel like I could do it.

It was so painful to stand we tried with one leg first and then the other, the movement to get on the edge of the bed and then get the legs out of it was hell, once I finally was standing I was told not to look down so I wouldn’t get dizzy, and I didn’t, I was being held by my boyfriend and my dad and was feeling like a warrior for being able to do all that, so I thought I could give it a try to the taking a few steps, oh boy I was wrong as soon as I took one I felt the whole world coming down on me, I was dizzy and on the brink of passing out so I ask my BF to put me back on the bed, that was the most frustrating thing ever.

I was so mad, all I could think about was that if I would have it my way and would have a natural birth I wouldn’t be going through all this, I would have being ok by now enjoying my baby and focus on nursing him, but I have to come to terms with the fact that this was my reality what was important was the fact that he was safe and for him to be ok he had to be born through a c-section.

Trying To Nurse A Baby While In Pain Is Not A Good Idea

He was waking up, and I needed to try and nurse him again, this time I was sited, I took advantage of getting out the bed so when I got back into it I was no longer in a laying on my back position, I was sited and could try and carry him to my chest, I don’t have any pictures of this cause I was not going to allow anymore pictures of my awful look of zombie like face.

I tried and tried and tried a keep trying to push my nipples inside my baby’s mouth, he just wasn’t having it, he suck like for less than 10seconds and then stop it, I was so worried I wasn’t going to be able to breastfeeding him, this put a lot of stress on me and that I guess it didn’t help making things easier.

It was time for my family to go, only my mom was allow to stay with me and the baby to help me out, I almost cry I wanted my BF there with me, don’t get me wrong I love my mom and wanted her there with me too, but what if I wanted to go to the bathroom or if like the doctor said needed to try to walk again, how was my 1.50cm tall mom supposed to help me? But the rules said not men allow to stay in the night so my BF wasn’t staying.

and The Night From Hell Started

My family was gone, there were just me and my mom with this little boy that wasn’t even a day old and had the most powerful lungs ever, he still wouldn’t grab the boob right so he was hungry and I could try all I wanted he didn’t now how to suck I didn’t know what to do, my poor mom, just held him and walking him all night, cause once she tried and put him on the crib he would just start to cry like there was not tomorrow, safe to say neither of us had any sleep that night, and can you imagine? I didn’t get much sleep the night before cause I was so anxious, and was up since 4.30am, my body was put through surgery to get a human out of me, and then I was going through pain in order to recover from said surgery, I wasn’t able to get some rest all day, I was so tired, my eyelids felt like they were fill with cement, but here was this little baby the thing I was supposed to love the most in the entire world making me so stress already, I was so worry about him not eating properly, was so worry about the fact that he may get sick, and also every time he cried I felt like a horrible mother for not being able to feed him right and make his suffering stop.

The night was the longest I have ever lived, we even tried to make him a bottle with formula to feed him and he didn’t even wanted to drink that, he just didn’t know how to eat, and I had to be patience and try no to worry as much, according to the nurse, she said that even the little bit that he drank from my breasts was enough to keep him alive for the night.

And then it happen I needed to go to the bathroom, and my mom was busy taking care of the crying new born, I was in pain and needed to go to bathroom so badly but I couldn’t bring myself to ask her to put him down for her to help me get out of bed, so I had to do it all by myself.

So, I just had to suck it up and make the pain my bitch.

There I was trying to sit myself, every time I tried to do it I felt like I was opening my wound, I was so scare if doing just that, that I think that was the reason it took me so long to actually sit and then stand, but I needed to do it, not only for the fact I was peeing myself, but also the doctor told me the quicker I was on my feet the quicker I was going to be able to go home, also that if I didn’t walk to let the gasses out I could get into more serious complications, and this only got me to think in my baby needing his mom and if I couldn’t recuperated myself wouldn’t be able to be with him.

So, for him I did it! I sit and then I stand on my 2 feet, and then I was able to get to the bathroom all by myself!!
Btw the going to the bathroom and cleaning myself (by this point my mom was able to calm the little one put him to sleep and help me) well this was sooooooooo amazing I wasn’t able to take a shower cause of the wound just yet, but I was able to clean myself up and feel less gross, and started to feel more like a woman than a monster, I would highly recommend to clean yourself up right after the c-section it would help feel better 100%.

And then someone knocked on the door it was my BF and my dad and my sister! They were all here that meant we had survived the night from hell all 3 of us my poor mom and the poor sweet baby that didn’t eat much all night.

Oh, I was so happy! Specially after seeing my bf going straight to carry his child and making him stop crying just by holding him! Oh, the sight of the 2 of them together is something that fills my heart so so much!

_{yeah this is from the first day but I didn’t had any sleep so I didn’t think on taking a good photo of the 2 of them on the next day}

And that would be all for this post, the story will continue on my next one!

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As always, thank you very much for reading me and
I hope to read your comments!

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_{Picture Credit: Pictures are all Mine and any Emojis used were created with Bitmoji.com!}

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