Can and Can't

This is a story of my friend. I will be using his perspective to write this post.

Since I took part in the marathon, the words I heard the most is "You are so good, can run so far, I can’t do it". In their fixed mindset, the ability to complete a marathon must be a tall and physically good person like me.

And their physique, unable to complete the marathon, even it is only half marathon.

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Is that really the case? Definitely not. I remember when I was in college, my class was in the summer games and asked me which activity I wanted to join. I did not hesitate and signed up for 5000 meters. Before that, I didn't even run more than 2km away. Why do I have to challenge such a long distance, because my experience tells me that as long as the method is right, given enough time and sweat, the results you want will surely come.

Sure enough, I was trained in the right way, and I got a good result in the fourth place in 5km.

Last year, the marathon was a strange word to me. But when I decided to do it myself, I thought I was going to get it done, and I could do it better. As I finished 5km, I completed half of the marathon and got a 31st place.

In fact, I can achieve these goals, not because I am strong, but I know a method that you don’t which is - the realization of goals.

It is important to have a psychological preparation for the attainment of the goals.

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First of all, you have to have enough confidence in yourself to believe that what others can do, you can too, do not deny yourself from the beginning. At the same time, you need to have enough desire to achieve the goal, which is the most important driving force in the process of achieving your goal.

Think about the situation after the goal, think of your beautiful figure, think about standing on the podium scene, these will give you a greater courage and motivation to move towards the goal.

The goal must be reasonable.

The most common reference is "choice". At any rate, you must set your goals according to your own conditions. Don't think about becoming skinny overnight. It's like completing a marathon, and if you're just starting out with a goal of running a marathon, you're definitely not going to make it. Because for you, such a goal is too large, it will give you a sense of stress, and thus give up. Because each physique is different, the time that achieves the goal is not the same.
But one thing is for sure, as long as the goal is reasonable, it will certainly be easier to achieve.

Believe in the strength of your partners.

For the runner who is strong in self-control, the goal of completing the marathon may not require the supervision and companionship of others. And those who are weak in willpower, have a partner who runs together is vital. He/She has given you the courage to achieve your goals, and he/she has reduced the boredom of your goal fulfillment process.

At the same time, his/her presence will inspire your inner potential and allow you to achieve your goals faster.

The rewards and punishments mechanism must be fair.

Without timely feedback, the goal is unreachable and difficult to achieve. When you finish a small goal, remember to give yourself a big reward. When you're done with a goal you didn't think of before, buy yourself a gift to give yourself a bigger incentive to achieve the next goal. And punishment is also indispensable, when you want to be lazy, lax, timely to give yourself some punishment, this will let yourself become more positive.

Remember, there is only one difference between can and cannot. Just that you don't know you can, and you don't know the right method. As long as there is a good way to complete the marathon, read 100 books a year, can be done. Hope that after you see other people achieved the goal, will hit the bottom of your heart that “he can do, you can do too!

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