Teardrops on my keyboard

I suspect many of you are anxiously awaiting an update on my progress towards the healing of my vessel.  I've been away from my keyboard for nearly two weeks as I prepared for the Lion's Heart Retreat this past weekend.  I also needed time to recover as the weekend took a tremendous amount of energy!

I'm going to use a scale from 1 to 10 to describe how I am feeling.  10 being how I was feeling about two or three years ago, before I noticed my health deteriorating.  When I started blogging here over a year ago, it was due to a noticeable deterioration in my memory.  I wanted to dump my research onto a blockchain so that it would not be lost and to make it available to all.  Two months ago I really dropped off significantly as my memory and physical stamina was hovering around a one or a two.  I struggled in my writing and I did not have the physical strength to do any work.  I was sleeping about 12 - 16 hours a day and unable to put any energy into my relationships.  I stepped away from many relationships as a result.

The alarm bells went off 

That is when we started me on a number of protocols.  I refuse to go to the doctor for a diagnosis, but chances are really good that I'm dealing with cancer.  I chose NOT to allow fear to set in as that would most likely kill my vessel.  Instead we decided to hit it hard while I worked to love my vessel unconditionally.  

My wife and I decided to bring together a bunch of protocols to help me through this.  Carey has an extensive background in homeopathy and other healing modalities and she designed the protocol that I'm now taking.  She is willing to help others if they are willing to explore a more spirit centric healing modality and she can be contacted at [email protected].  Carey helped me change my diet as I did eat a lot of bread and sugar.  We already eat fairly well considering that most of our food we grow ourselves.  We have done a lot of work over the past 5 - 8 years to reduce or eliminate our consumption of glyphosate and other industrial crap people call 'food', but it still sneaks in from time to time.  But I also suspect that my body is still holding onto many of the toxic chemicals that I took through the years of bad eating, addictions to pharmaceutical drugs, mercury fillings in my teeth, etc.  Time to clean all that shit up.

Carey then called upon the help of a dear friend, Tim Marshal (http://theholisticguy.com/).  He is a professional nutritionist and he helped kick off my healing journey with an extensive glandular & organ therapy protocol.  Much like the principles of homeopathy where like cures like, he got me onto a protocol where I'm consuming glands and organs to help heal my glands and organs.  We love the protocol so much that if people want to use it, you can contact Carey directly as well.

We also did a three week protocol using a product called blood root.  It tackles and kills the bad cells in my body.  I've been off the protocol for a few weeks and next week we will re-evaluate whether I will do another round with the blood root or not.

My multi-pronged approach to healing my vessel also included sourcing some CBD oil from a dear friend.  I've been on this protocol for nearly a month.  I've found out that the CBD oil is very complementary to the bloodroot as the CBD helps heal the cells that have been damaged while the bloodroot cleans up all the rest.  I'm also entertaining using Rick Simpson Oil (RSO) if I need a more powerful tool.  However, at this point I've found no need to go this far with my protocol.

So where am I at with all this work?

Like I said, two months ago I was sleeping 12 - 16 hours a day and had little to no stamina to do anything.  Today I'm getting about 8-9 hours of sleep, able to walk several miles a day, do my chores and hold intensive, highly emotional and spiritual retreats.  It still takes me out at times where I need to rest, but it is a significant improvement to where I was a few short months ago.  I would rate my mental capacity at a six and my physical stamina and strength at a five.  

While the path may seem long, I am indeed excited and working hard to heal my vessel and move forward with my life purpose, a journey that is far from over.  I see the beauty and lessons along this path.  It is beautiful!

When I reflect on my journey so far in my life, I must acknowledge that spirit has influenced and orchestrated everything along the way.  When I talk about my recovery from depression, violence, suicide attempts, etc I often talk about how those moments help define who I am today.  I often share with others that if I had to do it over again, I would.  I see spirit challenging me through the illness of my vessel so that I can learn how to heal my vessel.  I see this challenge as yet another opportunity for me to really comprehend just how powerful my spirit is and to fully explore who I AM.  I will heal my vessel, I will continue my work and I am very grateful for this experience.  I know deep in my heart that I've been given this challenge so that I can learn how to do this process in order to share it with others.  

Spirit guided healing is the journey I am now on.  I'm not scared of it.  There was a few days where the fear started to set it, but I was able to work through it all with the help of my wife and tribe.  Fear is what will kill my vessel if I allow it to set it and take root.  Instead I chose to surrender to the Great Spirit and allow Creator to guide me through a program of personal exploration, wonder, learning, experiencing and remembering.  Living with significant impacts on my physical and mental capacity has allowed me to surrender to Spirit even more.  My tribe stepped up to help us without question.  All the work that I've done to build tribe around me has supported me during this time.

True healing requires many people, many protocols, a healthy mind and powerful heart.  Illness can build all of that for us if we surrender to the process.  Illness does not have to be a death sentence or a massive financial burden.  With me being ill, we have not incurred massive debt or struggle with huge costs.  Spirit and Mother Earth is providing the medicine and resources I need to heal.  

The reason these alternatives are rebuked, dismissed and demonized is because the greedy of the world cannot profit from it.  I stand here today with tears dripping from my cheeks onto my keyboard as the gratitude and appreciation for this experience is being expressed.  I'm not crying because I am afraid of dying, I'm crying because I found a way to live, grow stronger and experience what it truly means to be a spiritual being in command of my beautiful, powerful and sacred vessel.  

My tears are for all those people who have supported and encouraged us through all the years that we have stood up to violence and tyranny.  I know that I cannot be killed until such time that Creator says that my work is done.  I find great comfort in knowing that and that is the source of my courage, strength, fortitude, endurance and stamina.  

I am grateful to be alive and to continue my work.  I have months of work yet to do in order to bring my vessel to the state of health and ability that I need to continue my work with vigor.  However, nothing will stop me from sharing, caring and loving you all so very much.  

I love you because I found a way to love myself and my vessel unconditionally.