Dying Inside that Moment

March 23, 2018 North Bus Terminal - It was on this evening that moment happened.

The moment when me and Gianne parted our ways. She was only 5 months that time. It was a heartbreaking departure. It is not that I don't love her that I sent her away but because I need to work in the city for us. My mother suggested that it would be better if she would stay in our province so that we can save from renting an expensive apartment. Further, mom could take care of her 24 hour a day there. Because in the city, I often go out from duty evening and go to school early in the morning.

It was a very difficult decision to make. As a mother, it breaks my heart. But, I need to adjust with the situation as to where we could both benefit. I have cried all night and the other nights. But I need to accept.

Being a single mom by choice is not easy. But for her-Gianne, I need to endure the pain and go on with the life I chose. I know it would be a long and winding road. But, I am willing to live with it for her and for our future.

I am dying inside to hold you...