Can you love an object?
_{(Did I miss this step in human development?)}
What has the world come to?!!!
_{Sure, I'm interested in Object Oriented Ontology, that doesn't make me an object-freak!}

A car dealer advertisement on social media tells me they fell in love with their car. They ask me if I love it too. Here is my answer.

_{Translation: We immediately fell in love!
What do you think of our new [car name]? [LOVE EMOTICON]}

Do I love this car?

Am I in love with this car? Simply put: No. But apparently you fell in love with it immediately, so I'm wondering... is there something wrong with me? Should I have fallen in love with this car?

It's ugly.

First of all. I think this car is extremely ugly. Not just the colour. It’s whole design abhors me. Even the size, the way it is photographed in a world I don't recognize as my own. It's just a bit alien to me. It's too big, and I don’t mean that in a good way. Perhaps I don't like it because I'm a woman? I don't need to make up for anything, I don’t need a big toy to make up for any deficiency. Is this why I'm not 'in love' with this car? But then again, the use of that emoticon, somehow makes me think that it was a woman who wrote that ad. Surely no self-respecting man would ever need to use an emoticon? Or feel the need to convey an emotion at all?

Now, of course this advertisement is aimed at me, and this social site knows my gender, so I can very well expect this message to be geared at me specifically... a woman. I'm flattered that they consider women important in the decision about what car to buy. Or perhaps they simply don't have access to my bank account and they are shooting loose fodder. I don't know what these people were thinking.

Narcissist car manufacturer

Fact remains, they apparently consider it pretty normal to say they fell in love with something they themselves created. This happens to many people. Especially when it concerns their own spawns. But that has some biological origin, it's smart of the baby to have some features that make his or her parents think it is cute or handsome -- even though it isn't. I hardly ever met a baby that was even remotely cute or nice or handsome. But that's okay. This is nature.

For a manufacturer of a car to say they 'love' something they created themselves... it's at the very least a case of extreme narcissism. Everyone is a narcissist, of course. But this still doesn't explain this extreme feeling of 'love' for an object they designed and manufactured themselves.

I don't even love my own book

I have written a book that was published in the Netherlands last April. Sure, I was extremely happy, beyond happy, when I saw my book in a book store for the first time. When I saw someone read it. When I saw it in the window of a book store in the middle of my university town. I have even referred to this book as 'my baby', it took way more than nine months to produce it, and it does carry my name. But I can't say that I immediately 'fell in love' with it. (Although, if you know Dutch... please go buy it, and perhaps you will fall in love with it?!!!)

I don't love objects

Love is something special. It is a relationship toward something other than myself. It is a desire to be close to something, closer than I can ever get. When I love something, I will miss it when I'm away from it. I will think about it. Thinking about it makes me feel closer to it. Love can be experienced, it's a big emotion. Well, actually I don't really know what love really is. There are some effects, which you could say are a proof of your love.

I've never loved an object. I might have loved the taste of an object (like vanilla vla - a type of Dutch pudding but much better - with chocolate sprinkles), which basically means I love this experience that this object gives me. I don't love vla. I love the feeling of new socks when I put them on for the first time. This doesn't mean I love new socks.

What do you love about something you love? Be specific!

So maybe that's what they mean, when they say that they love this car? They actually love the experience this car gives them. As it is an ad for a specific car, a specific model even, I take it that this love cannot refer to anything that can be experienced through any car. An old Volvo, a beaten-up Beetle. There is something specific about this car, which they experienced when they saw this car. What could it be?

Let's list all things that seem to be unique about this car, which have nothing to do with the experience of a car in general. (I mean, I could say I love a car because it enables me to be free and to go anywhere I want to go. Or I could love a car because it keeps me dry when I travel, as opposed to my bike. But these kind of things these ad people cannot be referring to).

Unique things of this car:

• It has a specific colour --> I have never yet loved a colour.
• It has aesthetic properties --> Even though I already mentioned I think this car is very ugly, neither its ugliness or its beauty would be a reason for me to 'love' it.
• It has a French license plate --> Perhaps I have always wanted to be French, and I love this car because it makes me feel like a real French person?
• It is the only car in the picture --> Can we love something simply because it is there, it is available?

So, I think we're on to something here. If something is there for the taking, available to receive us, wanting to have us inside of him, ready to come... this could be excellent reasons to love it. Right? Isn't that why people go to a cafe, meet strangers in a place where it is impossible to communicate beyond simple gestures...

You, me, here, now.

This is love anno 2018.

This is my entry for @comedyopenmic round 16 - I nominate @damianjayclay to write a funny poem about an object he is in love with. And also @negativer, as I know already what he loves, and there should be more posts about bacon.