I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Part 12

Part 13

Part 14

Part 15

Part 16

Part 17

Part 18

Part 19 👇🏽

I still do it.

I still try to zone out and disconnect when my feelers get real and raw and intense. It's a dysfunctional tendency I learned way back when - how to shut myself down - maybe it protected me once upon a time when the pain was too great.

And these are intense times at the @gardenofeden, and I still try to go numb - even though it's quite the opposite of pain these days.

No, now I'm on a mission - a sacred, holy, everything-falling-into-place, it-all-starts-to-make-sense life(time)'s purpose operation.

It's exhilarating, thrilling, all a-tingly and glorious!

So exciting and overwhelming that out of habit I try to deaden it, downplay it, hide from it - anything I can do to pretend it's not happening.

But I came here to level up, and I still don't go down without a fight.

:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:


Around my second year here, I told @quinneaker that I wanted to do more. "Like what?" he asked.

Well, I have skillz and legit training and interests that could be of more service than the menial labor or dinner making I often volunteered for. I studied finance and economics, I'm papered up in science, I'm a virgo AKA organizer AKA editor AKA critic, I like research, I'm the 5th grade spelling bee champion thankyouverymuch...is there something more for me to do?

Quinn is a master of solutions, so of course he gave me an opportunity to do what I liked. "We could start doing the newsletter again..." And he offered me the "job".

Hooray! If there's one thing I'm good at, it's being on a computer for 12-16 hours a day, so fuck yeah I can make a newsletter!

And he noticed something else about me too: for as antisocial as I am, I'm surprisingly good at interfacing with people, especially when it comes to dropping knowledge.

"You could do the shows," he suggested.

The Tucson Gem and Mineral Show was just one of many festivals, fairs, and markets we took our goods and services to; every season had a whole new lineup of events. Quinn spoke at many of them, and we often set up a booth showcasing the unique, handmade, sustainable, honorable treasures we offered by donation to the @gardenofeden's humanitarian outreach.

He suggested I man the booth, usually with him. Double fuck yeah!!!

As he is also a master of health, Quinn was especially interested in expanding the line of health supplements he'd provided to our community for many years. Colloidal silver is well known in alternative healing circles to be a safe, effective, gentle panacea, and he always kept a supply on hand for his family and people who needed an immune system boost at the @gardenofeden. He and @everlove had also taken (heavily diluted) 35% Food Grade Hydrogen Peroxide daily for over a decade, and they attributed how they literally never got sick to this "magical" elixir. He had also recently become aware of the incredible healing properties of colloidal gold as well as nascent iodine, and he wanted to provide access to such potent, effective, and economical options for thriving health to his entire extended network.

I didn't know shit about any of those things.

"Do you want to research them? That way you can talk about them at shows, and you can also put them on the website..."

Then the heavens opened and the angels sang!

Yes, I was definitely down to learn more about real healing.

It had been many years since I thought I would grow up to be a dentist, and I had seen a lot of weird and wonderful alternative therapies in my time since courting that field of Western medicine. In fact, my entire worldview was turned on its head when I stayed in the rainforest home of a witch doctor who could cure cancer.

My family didn't know cancer cures existed when my sister was diagnosed with leukemia at 17...we had no clue there were options. The pharmaceutical doctors presented one of the only 3 "legal" treatments for her condition, and we had no idea there were alternatives. We believed them, so she got chemo.

And 3 weeks later, she was dead. My beautiful, kind, creative, natural, Led Zeppelin loving sister got an infection, stopped breathing, and ceased existence on this plane.

She was dead. Complications of chemotherapy, the doctors shrugged.

By the time I got to the @gardenofeden, I had been around the world. I had seen a lot of things, even got trained in modalities the "textbook", university scholarship me would never have believed had I not experienced them for myself - helloooooooo, Theta healing OMG!!!

Further, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was at the @gardenofeden to do some deep and serious work...I knew it within a minute of being here and hugging Quinn. I knew it after a year of crazy drama and trauma played out in an insane relationship.

And I knew it when Quinn gave me the chance to study even more healing alternatives.

Turns out, colloidal silver, colloidal gold, nascent iodine, AND 35% Food Grade Hydrogen Peroxide all kill cancer ...and just about every other disease known to man.

And I thought I was just here to remodel relationships - hahahahahaHAAAAAAA!!!!

Oh Universe YOU GOT ME!!! You great big cosmic joke, YOU!!!!

I have work to do.

:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:<>:

I have been resisting telling this part of my story; in some ways it's almost harder to get to than The Fight with my ex (which only took me 4 years to speak to, lol).

It is seriously strange for me, because my sister - Kate - was diagnosed 19 years ago, in March 2000.

It's in my muscle memory...deep parts of me know what time of year it is, the anniversaries that approach. The day she was diagnosed. The day she went into ICU. The day she died.

And I want to run, and I want to hide, and I want to cry.

But fuck that shit, even more I want to TRIUMPH!!!!!

So here I am 19 years later without my Kate in the physical realm, but happy and healthy at the @gardenofeden - and the health supplement line is stronger than it's ever been, and I'm more dedicated than I've ever been, and I'm investing every single day in laying the foundation for getting it to more people than ever before.

And just LOOK what we've done!!! Look here, look here - look at all this wonderful, accessible, EFFECTIVE healing provided at the @gardenofeden!!!

Look Kate - look what I'm doing because of you!!!! Let's get it to even more people 💖

And because Quinn is such an incredible human, he pays forward the proceeds from all operations to take care of others - so any time someone invests in their own health, he uses that to support MORE people!

It is an honor to serve in his vortex. In thanks, I have more to give - and in giving, I receive - and in receiving, I have more to give...THIS is the new economy. #healthiswealth

It is an incredible time of letting go in the @gardenofeden. There is so much shit coming up for me now - but I'm going to throw it back to Grandmother Ayahuasca, who told me to just compost that shit and plant some flowers in it.

Yes, it's intense, and yes I want to shut down.

But I lean into it and I acknowledge it and I breathe through it and I accept responsibility like Quinn shows me how to do for the epic, overwhelming, vulnerable, profound, miraculous mission I am on here and now.

And I give thanks from the top of heaven to the bottom of hell to be A-L-I-V-E.

Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?

Join me in the next post and let's L-O-V-E!!!!

Part 20

✨💛✨ Sara!