Namaste Everyone,
I hope you all are having a great day, If not just don't worry there are ways to make yourself feel better. You just have to go look for it. Today would be me the 9th episode of my series. A series which I have decided to name by tomorrow and I am gonna stick with it.

And Today I am gonna talk (write) about my day, it was a great and fantastic day. And I think, I am slowly getting there where I see myself to be (In total control of mind). It started out like an average day, Morning going well, But the afternoon turned out to bit of rough. There is this incident happened at work where someone (whom I admire and considered to be role model) was disappointed by my action. And the entire evening I spent in gloomy feeling. I reached out to "youtube" looking for motivation and to feel better, But honestly it was a good talk with a friend which made my day.

Now, before you decide and skip the post, thinking its just another random daily blog, I honestly think that this post is worthy of your time. That being said and hopefully you are still around lets dissect this day and find out what went wrong and how I fixed my day in the end.

What went wrong? - So there is this person whom I admire and my role model, Apparently he wasn't aware of certain decision that I have taken and he reacted in a way insulted. Now I was actually hoping for his encouragement and approval but it turned out that the universe was upto teach me another important life-lesson today. Anyway, this incident has taken me by surprise as the reaction that I got was complete opposite of my expected one and had drove me to a point which induced self-doubt. I was so not comfortable with the situation and the reaction that I had asked to be excused and fled the scene. The feeling was so strong that it caused a chain reaction and started affected whats left of the day, And I ended up having a terrible headache. I reached out to youtube to cheer me up and drag myself out of the pit of the negativity. Where I saw the video which was focused on how to feel better, The speaker was talking about 'Loving yourself' which drove me to another question, Am I worthy of that self love and drove me past to point where I stopped making sense. And my thoughts were more like these.

I was lost.

How I corrected it? - I am amazed at how simple the solution was. What will you do when you are lost? Firstly your ego kicks in and that why went searching for answers in Youtube. And when the ego gives up you ask others for direction. And there are people give you directions. That's what my friend @vincentnijman did. I appreciates his patiences towards my whining. But he taught me some techniques which actually helped me feel better. He kept me in in the analysis mode and throughout the discussion.

The discussion was lighthearted but always on the point. The first task was to accept the fact that 'Not everyone reacts to the actions as you expected them to be', what happened this afternoon was a surprise to me but I was so focused on the reaction that I forgot that the other person too have emotions. Second point being that 'I was putting in too much thoughts into the incident, what I did was over-thinking the situation which lead to stress and added a headache as icing on the top. I advised @mysteriousroad this afternoon to ask questions which adds upto confidence and not the self doubt, But I ended up doing the exact opposite. Instead of confronting the feeling and concluding it by saying 'Thank you, But no Thanks', I took that gloomy feeling on a date spent the entire evening and worrying about 'Love yourself' and things of that sort. He pointed out the third and most important thing about the concept of 'love yourself'. Which I totally agree. It is not a simple on-off switch which we can flip and feel the love, Its more of practice. What I understood that most of the youtube videos failed to mentioned is that 'Self Love' or 'love yourself' concept isn't an action but a habit. A habit of feeling good. Which I realized that I am getting good. You love yourself when you reach out for help and keep the ego from interfering. You love yourself when you feel like you are taking unnecessary stress and need to dial the stress down a couple of notch. and you love yourself when you acknowledge yourself worthy of it. We all worthy of self love, You just need to accept it. And I know its easier said than done. But its another step in the marathon that I am running

I am

Even though for me It feels like I have come a long way in the self exploration, I now know that I am just scratching the surface and the potential that this experiment hold. Heres too the better and newer version of me.

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