How a careless teenager turned into a (step)mom - Part 13 - Getting to know myself again

'HOW A CARELESS TEENAGER TURNED INTO A (STEP)MOM'

(life of a girl who survived domestic violence and stalking, fighting for a better life)

Welcome to the Thirteenth day I'm participating in the #monthlyauthorchallenge!
I'm really excited to join the challenge! Why? Because I would love to share some bits of my life with you.
I think it might surprise you and even shock you 😉

DAY 13 Getting to know myself again

When I came back to my hometown I could finally talk to my friends again.
I didn't have a lot of friends. It was hard to build friendships when I was married to my ex-husband.
But my best friends were still there for me! One of them is @simone-enomis.
We've been friends since we were 12 years old!

In the weekends that my girls went to their father (before the attack), we went to the club sometimes.
I loved it, but I didn't understand..
When we were dancing and making fun on the dancefloor I got attention from guys..
WHY?! 😔
The first times this happened I thought they were looking at someone who was standing behind me. But then there wasn't anyone behind me..
WHAT WAS GOING ON? 😲
Why would anyone be interested in ME?
I was this girl who had so much going on in her life, the girl who had TWO kids (and because of that didn't have time to puts layers of make up on), the ugly girl.

I didn't feel attractive at all. Most of the time I didn't care. There were times I went to college wearing busted clothes..
I was fine with it, as long as my kids were wearing nice clothes.
I don't know WHY I felt ugly.
My ex-husband never said bad things about my appearence, but without saying anything he could make me feel bad about myself I guess.

SHOCKING how someone can get in your head without you being aware of it! 😨

I liked the attention, but I always kept guys at a distance, by making sarcastis comments or jokes.
Like there was this guy walking in at a party, with his blouse wide open, and his four friends following him. A badass player.. I lured him to come my way.
My friends had no idea what I was doing.
When he was standing in front of me I started to button up his blouse, saying 'be careful, you might catch a cold!' His face was PRICELESS! 😂
Too bad a lot of guys can't take this kind of jokes...
(I'm sorry guys! I really DO love (most of) you!!)
If the sarcastic jokes didn't work, I'd tell them about my kids and they were gone anyway.. 😁

There was one guy that piqued my interest..
He was nothing like the 'dreamguy' I created in my head.. (big, blond, blue eyes, messed up hair, and on a surfboard 😉)
But there was something about him..
He was serious and funny at the same moment.
He was smart.
He didn't try too hard, by saying and doing all kind of things that would win me over.
We could have this conversations that started with 'I don't want to tell you this, because you'll think I'm crazy' and then end up thinking exactly the same thing!
He was not impressed by the threats of my ex-husband.

This was the friend that who came over, the night of the phonecall with my ex-husband...
I walked him outside after we waited for hours and my ex-husband didn't show up. My dad walked along.
He walked to his car. Then he looked back for a second.
Our eyes met.
BUTTERFLIES! 💘

NO BETTY, don't you dare to fall for a man again! Life is so much easier being a single mom.. Don't be stupid!

His name was Ton aka @fitzgibbon

Stay tuned!

-Thank you for your interest! I would love to hear something from you! Please leave a comment and I'll get back to you 😊 Hope to see you back tomorrow! Love you 😘!-

This story is part of a series I'm writing this month in the #monthlyauthorchallenge, here below are the previous parts:

PART 12: CPS-Mill
PART 11: The Attack
PART 10: CPS
PART 9: Stalking
PART 8: The divorce
PART 7: Running away
PART 6: Domestic violence
PART 5: Now what?
PART 4: Becoming a young mom
PART 3: Kissing and making out
PART 2: The first guy I'll kiss
PART 1: This is me