I punched myself with a coffee mug because I felt something crawling on my elbow, mid sip. It turned out be a stray hair just doing hairy things I guess. I had a fat lip for a couple days. I just told people I got in a fight and said, "You should have seen the other guy."
The fight story sounds better, even if there had been a real paralyzing Canadian death spider on your elbow, and especially since I just made that spider up. A fist-fight is always a crowd pleaser.
There was another time, long ago, I was drunk with friends and we were doing UFC in the kitchen. I got thrown into a cupboard, for fun, knocked a tooth out. I had to tell the guys at work a coffee cup did it.
... but you should've seen the coffee cup, eh? (did I spell that right, or is it just 'a'?)
Eh. It's eh. In the west many say 'hey' instead of 'eh'. Out east the 'eh' sounds more like 'ah' because of the French accents.