Nihilistic Rainbow 3: ENDARKENMENT - My Entry

This is my entry for @sature Nihilistic Rainbow (satirical poem) contest.
This weeks topic is ENDARKENMENT. A new form of way of reaching enlightenment through payment.

They said you can find your true love just a few clicks away
That's amazing I won't even have to leave the house!
Sign up today for an even better chance to save
Oh, let me get my credit card I need to know this right away!
Info in. Submit.
Here come the answers!
Hmm, not direct all I got was blonde and nice. But I I still have questions!
Oh, I see why now! I only ordered the bronze package!
Info in. Submit.
Hmm, short and likes animals. I need more!
Ugh, what is the secret to this life!
Maybe I will search online forums for the answers. I wonder what others will say.
YES, I believe I found what I have been searching for!
For three easy payments of $99.99
I just found out I can reach enlightenment by the end of the day!